As Marlon Brando said in the film Apocalypse Now (I dont usually see films, I watch movies) The horror, the horror... I made a *terrible* mistake tonight. I decided that I wanted to clip little ferret claws tonight. I have a tool for that, it lets you do the job one-handed although I prefer two. My general method is to pour a little Ferretone (any brand will do) on one of the lads bellies, and let him lie on his side on the kitchen counter, madly licking his navel. And anything else that might have Ferretone on it. (Ferretone, if you are unfamiliar with it, is an oil fortified with vitamins and minerals that Ferrets lap up like a narcotic.) So pre-occupied are Ferrets with this behavior that the little front paws lie limp. I simply pick them up and trim one claw at a time while the power-grooming goes on and on. But tonight I made a terrible error. I was out of Ferretone, and assumed that I could substitute the Norwegian Cod Liver Oil that I have been stirring into their daily soup along with olive oil, melatonin, and an awful lot of Turkey baby food. They really like this soup. I assumed that they would like the Cod Liver Oil alone. I decided to start with Caff-Pow. What the hell was I thinking? Ferrets, like many people I know do not like change that they do not themselves initiate. *I* am one of those people, come to think of it. And nobody had ever splashed the greasy essence of Norwegian Fish guts on Caff-Pows under-carriage before. He. Was. Outraged. He jerked. He weasel-popped. He knocked the 12 FL. OZ. bottle (355mL) of Cod Liver Oil right over onto its side on top of the kitchen island which was thankfully marble, and did not absorb the aroma or a wide stain. But that cannot be said for the far side of the island, or the back of the black leather chair that rests against it. The oil slick poured down both surfaces, and lines of it headed for the floor. The big upholstered black leather chair? Is better than anything Captain Kirk ever had aboard the Starship Enterprise. My husband encountered it abandoned in a corporate basement. A business had redecorated, and the chair no longer fit the decor. He could have it if he could haul it. He hauled it. The Dog favors it. Do you ever wonder why professional services cost so much? It might have something to do with the $2500.00 upholstered leather Dog chairs. Then, there was the slick of Norwegian Cod Liver Oil running down the far side of the island, right where the padded leather of the $2500.00 Dog chair had touched it. I sopped up what I could with paper towels, but my husband ran to his work truck for a can of Zep ID RED. Its industrial degreaser in a can. Now, youd never know that the chair was like a duck washed ashore in a Gulf oil spill and needing to be washed in Dawn. It looks normal. The wood on the side of the island looks much better, but it will never be normal. Then there was Caff-Pow, who refused to groom the Norwegian Cod Liver Oil off of his under-carriage. Well, there was still good pressure in the aerosol can of Zep ID RED so, having Dann hold a rag up to Pows snout good and tight so that he wouldnt inhale any I shook the can and OH!! DONT TELL ME YOU GOT THIS FAR BELIEVING I WAS GOING TO USE THE AEROSOL INDUSTRIAL DEGREASER ON THE FERRET!! Of Course not. I rubbed his belly with a terry-cloth hand towel and buffled the fur as best as I could to get the oil off. I am sorry, but he is just going to have to groom the nasty stuff. Ive seen him at work already, looking disgusted. I am so sorry, Pow! I will never do it again!
Posted on: Thu, 17 Apr 2014 06:24:20 +0000
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