As a 12 year old girl, having someone bust through a locked door, throw me down on a bed and over power me by pinning me down wasnt what stood out to me as something wrong on that horiffic day I first posted about last here in my very first healing post back on September 10th 2012. Im not sure why, but over the last week or two I have been having tons of doubts and questions in my mind as to what Georges actual motives were that day. So instead of asking a friend or family member and possibly seeming like Im being over-dramatic, I decided it would be best to ask my therapist in our weekly session this past Monday. I asked her if she thought it was possible that Georges intention was to raped me that day...if he was given the opportunity. Without hesitation, she said that was the first thing she thought when I first told her what happen to me in our very first session. I dont think I was ready for that response. I guess in a way it was easier to believe I was making a big deal out of nothing. Anyway, I was visibly upset. She then assured me that she couldnt be 100% sure of what his intentions were, and that this was just how she felt and what came to her mind when I explained what his actions were on that day. As soon as she said she couldnt be 100% sure and that because of his actions that is what came to mind, my sister crossed my mind. When I first started healing on fb last September my sister admitted to me that she to was also a victim of his, but far worse. Of course, once my sister being his victim of what I was questioning came to mind, that was all I could think of. So from that point on Monday, I already knew that I was going call my sister. It took me a while, but I finally called her on my way to my psychiatrist appointment this afternoon to ask her if what George did to me (as in the routine for lack of a better word) was one of the ways he used on her (when he would hold her down) when he did the horrible things he did when he would attack her. I think I waited most of the week to finally ask, because deep down I already knew that she would confirm this was a way that he had also attacked her...and she did. I also asked her if she believed that if George had been given the opportunity would he have raped me. She said, Absolutely...I have no doubt thats what he was going to do. You were very lucky to have someone there to save you. Needless to say, Im not taking this all that well. All these years I have been horrified knowing that my now ex brother-in-law molested me and stole my innocence, because he forcefully held me down to see my body and touched my body...but my mind stopped there with it. I guess as sheltered as we were, at 12 my mind was too young and simple to wrap around the actual attack or what more could have happen to me. What I do know now that is completely disturbing is that this piece of shit is not only a child molester, but an attempted child rapist....I just dont understand...I cant wrap my mind around any of this. All I can do is thank God that more of my innocence was not stolen from me by that sick sack of shit. As Always, thank you all for your time and support...I wouldnt be the me I am today without you guys!!! ;) MAY WE NEVER BE SILENCED AGAIN!!!
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 03:14:18 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015