As a follow-up to the discussions around suicide & depression (re Robin Williams below), many of you have written to me privately and asked how I overcame depression and no longer deal with suicidal thoughts. For me, the act of killing myself did not scare me. In fact death did not scare me. It was LIFE and LIVING that scared me, and I did all that I could to run away from life. I took the desire to end life so seriously that I killed myself (yes, I was dead). Getting to that place required my mind to truly beLIEve that everyone would be better off without me. I was convinced (even in my final moments) that I was a burden and that they would be free if I was gone. I truly loved them more than I loved me and I wanted them to be happy. I did not feel I was part of that happiness equation. After my near death experience, what I realized was that the only time I suffered was when I argued with what life presented as experience. I lived a victimhood story. Whatever life sent my way - I felt it was out to get me, to end me, to destroy me. At the time I killed myself, I lived on a very tiny island in the middle of New Zealand and had no one who related to what had just happened. I had in fact killed myself and came back and so WHO could understand that. I decided to go to our tiny little library and try to find SOMETHING that would help me understand how I could kill myself and yet be so EUPHORIC and LOVING LIFE. It just didnt make sense. Sure, things happened in my NDE that shifted my awareness substantially, but I returned to the same life, same problems, same relationships and yet I saw all of it differently. I was like an infant seeing life through NEW eyes, NEW senses. Low and behold in the tiny little library on our tiny little island -- there was ONE book that opened it all up for me. And that book was Loving What Is by Byron Katie. Her story was very similar (although she didnt die, she had an instant awakening and saw through the illusions of suffering just as I had). I read the book cover to cover and it made PERFECT sense. The only time I suffer is when I believe my thoughts. Wow. So profound, yet so very subtle. So subtle in fact, that I stepped over it for 38 years. Once I began inquiry on thought, it let go (of me). Then this beautiful loving open-ness shined through. I was liberated from the suffering and it only took one question to unravel it all --- is that thought true? So for the many of you new to this page and for the many of you not new to this page, I invite you to investigate the painful thoughts that are plaguing your every day. Inquiry is a beautiful balm to heal the pain, one thought at a time. Below this post I will include: (1) Links to Byron Katies The Work YouTube explaining inquiry and how to go about it as well as MANY videos of Byron Katie doing the work with others; (2) I highly suggest you order her book: Loving What Is by Byron Katie and will include the link to order via amazon; and lastly; (3) Links to my NDE story and my YouTube channel discussing all that I have realized since my death. I promise you folks, there is another way. There is liberation from this suffering. And it does not always take a pill or years of counseling or even a massive life change. It takes a willingness and an open-ness to look at each thought as it arises. One by one. I am so grateful to you all for your open hearts and loving comments and private messages. You are not alone. I see you. I really do.
Posted on: Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:55:19 +0000
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