As a practicing psychologist, whose perspective is based on family systems, I wish to address the unhappiness, happiness, anxiety, and depression of the holiday season. To be brief, people in most families get together, flying across the country, visiting, talking about memories, and much more. The holidays, not only bring good things that may be occurring this year, but there are some people in families and friends, that get together, and bring their unhappy memories and traditions of their own childhoods to the table, at guests. Most individuals have not worked out the issues that made them miserable in their own childhoods. This can be done by therapy. Most people are fearful of therapy, and moving on. Another issue that makes for discomfort, is toxic relatives and friends, some who have many of their own issues, of divorce, separation, job loss, and happiness, joy and resentment, and jealousy. This makes for a unusual mix at the holiday gatherings. Some hide their feelings, and feel resentment, at where they are in their lives, and try their best to put on a good face, and others bring their own issues to the table, many caused by unresolved issues from the past. This makes people feel out of control, and some individuals feel steamrolled by traditions. Put this all together for a weekend of happiness and joy, and there may be unrest for some. There may be resentment and a feeling of fatigue of doing the traditional when some have obviously moved on, and are at different stages in their lives. We are unique individuals who like homeostasis, meaning we dislike change. Change is healthy, even though uncomfortable. If any of this fits, you certainly can get help to work out your lives for happier holidays, and family events.....DI, MFT, PH.D, author Molly and Monet
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 20:20:21 +0000
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