As a would-be movie critic (and an everything else critic), I have to tell you I just watched the DVD of Nothing Left to Fear. It is a horror flick having something to do with people trying to stopper the gate of Hell. Think WWBD (What Would Buffy Do). The real horror was realizing I was never going to get those two hours back. At the opposite end of the spectrum, I finally watched the DVD of Riddick. This movie is a perfect example of Dallas film critic Joe Bob Briggs rule on how to make a perfect sequel. According to Joe Bob, the way to make a perfect sequel is to make the EXACT SAME MOVIE YOU MADE THE FIRST TIME. Follow the math here: Pitch Black was a pretty solid low budget sci fi actioner. The formula is: Pitch Black = Riddick + cool monsters + a supporting cast, all of whom are stupid, and who get killed off in rough reverse order of attractiveness. The Chronicles of Riddick (first sequel) = Riddick as Moses (at least thats what I think he was). Not gonna work, and it didnt. Riddick (the latest) = Riddick + cool monsters + a supporting cast, all of whom are stupid, and who get killed off in rough reverse order of attractiveness. Seriously! How could it possibly fail??? An even better example of the Joe Bob Principle was the 1996 movie From Dusk Till Dawn, one of the best crime spree/vampire/biker movies ever. The formula is (roughly) Quentin Tarentino being creepy + George Clooney being George Clooney + bikers + vampires + a healthy dose of Cheech Marin and Danny Trejo. Now that is cinema gold if I ever saw it. All of the sequels were - I dont really remember what they were now, but they didnt follow the formula, and they all kinda sucked. Now I see there is a TV series in the works. I just hope they know enough to stick to the proven crime spree/vampire/biker formula. That way lies an Emmy nod. In deviation lies oblivion. I figured nobody wanted to read about the Supreme Court, anyway.
Posted on: Wed, 26 Mar 2014 01:36:47 +0000
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