As all of you know from reading my blog and seeing me go through this journey the last three months there have been many ups and downs. Its like being on a roller coaster. I feel so bad for my family and Owen always on the receiving end of my emotions. I feel I am coping with everything in my stride and what you see is what you get with me, I do smile and carry on 90% of the time. But when I am upset or angry it is my family and Owen that receive the tears and upset that come with that. Im writing this part in my blog not to name and shame anyone or for people to feel sorry for me but to let it out and move on from it. Because its eating me up inside and I am taking it out on the people I love and I am going to end up pushing them away. I have been overwhelmed by love and support by so many people from my amazing family, friends, clients, complete strangers and people who have befriended me along my journey so far. But there has been a serious lack of support from my employer from day one and this something that has truly broken my heart. I have worked so hard from that business for two and half years. Giving blood sweat and tears because I love my job and I am truly passionate about. Most people know the beauty industry isnt the best paid job out there but when you love your job money doesnt matter. I have always gone above and beyond for any job I have ever done thats who I am its how I have been brought up. My whole family have always worked hard to get where we are in life. From the day I got diagnosed my priority was work I was so upset that I would be letting my clients down. I worked before and after every single hospital appointment not having a day off at all since diagnoses. I actually cant remember the last time I had a day off sick all together. The day I told got told my Tumour had doubled and I had to have surgery within the week everything came down on me like a ton of bricks. We cancelled our holiday and I was going to have a month off work at least to have surgery and recover ready for chemo to start. The support I got regarding this from my boss was nonexistent. I asked for her to print a sign off or to email all clients explaining the situation, this was never done. So I posted on the salons facebook page letting clients know my last day would be 11-09-14 and I also printed a sign off and placed it in receptions explaining to clients I had breast cancer. This sign was removed two weeks after I left the salon on sick leave. I called every single one of my clients to tell them my last day at work would be Thursday 11th September. Each and every client was upset, some even cried. The support and love they gave was heart warming. That last week of work was mentally and physically draining. I saw all of my regular clients, they all gave me hugs and well wishes and I was inundated with card and gifts. I did 12 hour days that week working around hospital appointments and calling all my clients to tell them as of Thursday I would be off work as I was having a mastectomy on Tuesday 16th September. On Thursday 11th September it was my last day and started work at 9 am but I was there early as normal. I was fully booked with clients until 8.30pm that evening and I had so many clients just popping in to drop cards and presents off but also just to see me, to hug me and to wish me all the a best. I finally locked the salon at 9.30 that night after calling the remaining clients I needed to to tell them of me absence. So at 9.30 exhausted and tired I left that salon alone Owen waiting for me, good job too as I had so many flowers and gifts it filled the boot of the car. I was so emotional as I knew I wouldnt be working for a while and Owen knows how passionate my job is. My plan was to have at least two months off to have surgery and recover, then have all the hormone treatment and my eggs collected and to start my first chemo and see how that goes before i looked at returning to work possibly part time around my treatment. But in the 9 weeks since I have been absent from work sick I havent had one call from my boss. I have had 4 texts and an email. The last text was when I had surgery, the email was a week after that explaining she had hired a new staff member, which was something we were meant to do together as I am the salon manager. Since the 22nd September I have heard nothing and until three weeks ago hadnt received any wage slips. They arrived dated back to August in the post along with 5 cards from clients wishing we well but not so much as a note attached to the wage slips from my boss, nothing just the wage slips. I have clients ring me and text me saying how much they miss me and how when they ring the salon and hear my voice on the answer machine it makes them happy. This all breaks my heart so much because I feel if my boss was understanding and had made to the time to call me or even arrange seeing me I could look at doing minimal hours and discuss some sort of working arrangement to work around my treatment. Clients have said that its like Ive never even worked there. If they ask how I am they get told that my boss has been too busy to call or see me and if they dont ask about me I dont even get mentioned! That because she has no idea how I am as she hasnt bothered to see how I am In 9 weeks. No body is ever too busy to call someone. So after busting a gut for two and half years for that business I am not even worthy of some respect. I am totally heartbroken and the thing that upsets me the most is that I miss doing my beauty and seeing my lovely clients on a regular basis. This part of my journey has upset me than having cancer. I have cried more over the lack of support from my boss than have over anything else and thats why I felt the need to write about it in my blog. Some of you may or may not know that my boss is Owens sister so this then upsets him too. Owens lack of support from his mum and sister has been so hard on us and both and puts added stress and upset on us both. Owen hasnt even seen his own mother since I got diagnosed in August. We need all the support we can get from our families and friends. I have written about this because yesterday I had a melt down to why I deserve to be treated like this and Owen and my mum were on the receiving end of this upset. They both say I need to move on from it which is why Ive written about it, I am hoping opening up about it and expressing how I feel may help me move on from it and because if I dont I think it could end up ruining what I have with Owen. Everyone says just forget about them and move on. I will try my very best but the reason I feel so upset is because Im a nice person, Ive done nothing wrong, all Ive ever done is treated others to how I wish to be treated in return. I have always put that business first along with all my clients. Its time to concentrate on me and getting better with love and support of family and friends who have already been through so much and have gone above and beyond to be there for me ❤️❤️❤️ I am so grateful to all of my lovely clients too, the love and support you have shown me is unbelievable ❤️❤️❤️
Posted on: Fri, 21 Nov 2014 08:07:37 +0000
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