As far as classic love stories go, couples either end up happily ever after, or die trying. Fortunately, the Romeos and Juliets of today probably wonât end up in the tomb before their time, though ironically, they might end up in the marriage dissolution court. Every couple has its problems I suppose, and though divorce is a necessary option, it does seem as though weâre increasingly moving it up our list. Marital annulment numbers show no sign of fatigue and this is as true of Singapore as it is with many other developed nations. A competitive and technologically-advanced environment can be disruptive and distracting for a marriage I suppose, but we shouldnât be too quick to blame rising divorce rates squarely on work stress and internet-fuelled enticements. Relationships are organic, and their growth relies on the nourishment we give them. Too many of us though, make the error of putting our spouse on the backbench a few years into the union. âWeâve got other pressing mattersâ we think, âPromotions to snag, bills to pay, children to raise, in-laws to deal with, our own problems to drown outâŚâ Itâs amazing how unmotivated and uncreative we can become after getting married. How the dream of a love nest fades into rote and tedium. How the effort we used to put into impressing and indulging our spouse dissipates. How easily we brush them aside in favour of long hours at the office, at the pub, at the mall, on the TV, computer or smartphone. How ego, pride and the need to win the argument begin to take precedence. One of the main precipitators of divorce â infidelity â has its roots in this tendency to take our spouse for granted, to regularly give other matters, other people, even ourselves priority. Also the tendency to let ourselves go, then seek to affirm our egos outside of our marriage. Too often we hear about how marriage can be tough, that it takes a lot of work and so on, which can be true, but we shouldnât forget that the return on investment is immense. Few things fulfill us as much as a loving marriage, and a marriage need not take very much to nourish. It just takes that bit of extra thought, effort, and attention given consistently and sincerely.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 04:54:28 +0000
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