As many of you know when 2014 began I stated very clearly that - TopicsExpress

As many of you know when 2014 began I stated very clearly that this year was going to be about me, my needs, wants and desires. To some of you that means that Ive become selfish. To others it means that Im mad at them. Let me clear the air. The only person that Im truly mad at is the only person that I have a right to be mad at. Me. I say that because, at the end of the day, the person who allowed the things to happen that pissed me off is, of course, yours truly. Maybe I didnt make my wishes properly known, maybe I relied on the people who say they know me inside and out to actually know me inside and out or maybe I just let people get over on me and thats not their fault its mine. Dig this, if youve listened to me over the years youve heard me say, countless times, that we (humans) are just animals right? And you cant blame an animal for being true to their instincts or being true to whatever they are. How many times have we seen a legless, Australian surfer say that they couldnt blame the shark that is currently swimming around digesting his little piggies? This is no different. The one thing I could do however was get out of the water and not let the shark bite me anymore and in some cases thats what Ive done. I fully believe that I have earned and deserve the things that Im upset that I havent gotten and my sense of self-worth has gone to intergalactic heights this year but I also truly and honestly believe, probably for the first time in my life that if I am not a significant part of your life YOURE the one that loses, not me. Is that arrogant? Smug? Maybe and if so Ill take it but like Ive been saying this whole year I have put my heart and soul into the people in my life, I have worked my ass off to give them the things that they wanted and needed from support to salad. I worked hard to get the things that I want and deserve and to get my head to the point where I actually believe myself to be truly worthy of these things and now, like Tom Petty said, I wont back down, and if that makes me smug and arrogant fine, if that makes me angry in your eyes fine but let me state something in plain English so that there are no misinterpretations, all Im doing, every day, is doing my best to put myself in the best place I can be mentally, physically and spiritually. I AM NOT MAD AT ANYBODY BUT ME... and Im getting over that real quick.

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