As my close friends and family know I am a very in depth thinker. I am always thinking above and beyond. 4 years ago I was a pregnant 24 year old scared to death of my future. After having Owen I was bored just being a stay at home mom and felt like I needed to be doing something. God was pushing and pushing me. I just couldnt figure it out. I knew He wanted me to help others with their struggles like I did myself. My how to came when I got into fitness. I joined a federation, got my pro card and I thought life was going as planned. Fast forward to today and I think of all the turmoil this year has caused. Wrong people coming into my life, trying to conform when we all know I am real and true to myself. I was being fake and I hated it! Had to get it off my chest. Now the reason I am ranting is how do I really know this is what God wants me to do. Was it a blessing in disguise that I left the other federation to join another? Or am I going in the same direction? Fitness training definitely keeps me out of trouble, but Ill admit my skin isnt that thick. I may stick up for myself, but I would be lying if it didnt hurt when people talk and scheme behind my back. I am feeling confused and lost. Have any of you wondered why you were doing what you were doing? You know your why. I dont ever want to feel the rage, heartbreak, and Depression I felt in August. I lost a lot of so called friends but Im ok with that I just dont want to be on the wrong road. I want to help others with their body image issues and so much more. Getting out there and being the canvas is the only way I see that happening. Any advice when youre doubting what youre doing is the right thing for you? Everything I do now is what I want to do. No more conforming.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 03:26:05 +0000
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