As some of my fears are laid to rest yesterday with the reality of how far I have come I cant help but think of Robin Williams this morning. I watched a special on his life and as he spoke I related to him. He wanted to love people, he wanted to heal the world, and unlike me, he did it. I watch him talk about his struggles though. You see as he out poured his love he had the same experience I have struggled with. Balance. The realization that I can not help or be with everyone hurts. As the emails fly and the messages pick up more and more I have to set new parameters. I read each message and pray. To truly love and help people is exhausting. I listened to Robin Williams say he was always fighting dropping his guard and all the pain overpowering him. I was like he gets it. His answer was this Keep the dark back! Daily! I know you may think well duh Crissy. It was monumental for me in knowing it is ok to struggle with it, the constant pulling at my heart. I struggle with Bipolar and have had issues with not wanting to be here anymore, in the very distant past. This world was a dooming place to me. During my conversion I have found that is the plan. Is it exhausting, why yes. That is the plan and needed for growth. I get multiple messages on how I beat Bipolar. I havent beat bipolar, trust me, it is in the background daily. I have sought strength from up above and miracles have happened. I think Robin Williams was a good man that just one day lost the battle to the ugly of the world. I wish I could thank him for the stregnth his story has given me.
Posted on: Tue, 25 Nov 2014 12:59:17 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015