As the holidays draw to a close I feel to expound on what many know as the works of “evil and designing men”. It is well established that next to my mother, Costco makes the planet’s best pumpkin pie. And my mother, being near 90, has ceased making pies. With mixed emotions I face the fact that Costco will now discontinue its pumpkin pie offering till October of next year. Mid-season it dawned on me the insidious nature of the Costco plot. Surely they sell a huge, delicious pie for only $5.99, but when you look for whipped cream it is only available in packages of three aerosol cans. When you finish the pie you will likely have in excess of 2 cans of whipped cream remaining. You may then go and buy 2 more pies with hopes that with heavy application you might use the remaining 2 plus cans of whipped cream. Your hopes are in vain. The system is rigged such that there is no hope of matching the use of pie to the use of whipped cream. This plot is even more devious than that of hot dogs being sold by tens and buns by eights. You never know when the can will produce its last cream till it does. I continued on in this nefarious cycle, till losing all hope I went to Safeway for a carton of cream and whipped it myself. Having it in an open container I could then dole it out and evenly disperse it on each slice of pie. A few days ago, while at Costco I surprised my wife by insisting I would buy no more pumpkin pies this year. She was shocked. In honesty I must admit that before long I will be looking forward to October’s pie season. A slave to the pernicious plans of duplicitous persons I shall once again buy into the guile of the malicious merchants and buy a pie with whipped cream. I can resist anything but temptation.
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 21:27:12 +0000
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