As the saying goes, Desperate times call for desperate measures. When your childs safety is at risk — whether hes run into the street, reached for an open flame, or gotten dangerously close to a pool — yelling, screaming, or crying out is a perfectly normal (and necessary!) response. After all, at that moment, you would do anything possible to get your childs attention and get him out of harms way. After an episode like this, its natural for kids to cry — and for you to want to apologize. But the truth is, your kids are likely crying in response to the fear and urgency in your voice, not because youve been too stern. At times like these, its OK to comfort them without apologizing. Give your child a hug and say something like, I know youre upset. But what you did was dangerous and I was scared that you were going to get hurt. You must never do that again. Punishing kids after an event like this is usually not necessary, since theyve probably learned their lesson. On the other hand, there are times when being too stern — like yelling regularly for minor offenses — can backfire. Kids can become immune to parents overblown reactions and fail to take them seriously. If you feel yourself getting into this habit, take a deep breath before responding to your childs behavior and ask yourself, Am I about to overreact? If so, walk away for a few minutes and come back when youve calmed down. In general, when it comes to disciplining kids, its best to speak with a low, firm voice and to keep your focus on the behavior, not the child. Its also helpful to use natural consequences whenever possible. That means if your child has thrown a toy, ask her to pick it up. If shes taken something from her sibling, ask her to return it. If she chooses not to comply, an age-appropriate timeout or other consequence should follow, despite tearful pleas. Consistency is the key to effective discipline, and giving in to a childs tears may inadvertently reinforce negative behavior. *Heather
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 01:40:00 +0000