As we approach the last few hours of 2014, I realize how tired I am. I am ready for bed already and George is already snoozing in his recliner! Its only 9pm. Grief is so tiring. Its like most days I have to take a nap before I go to bed. It doesnt help when I wake up during the night and cant go back to sleep. I will admit it does seem to be getting better. 2014 has been a tough year. After two years of headaches, in March, George was diagnosed with Cancer. Two different kinds in the sinus area. They could not do surgery. He did Chemo and Radiation simutaniously. Some really bad days when I didnt think he would survive the treatments. Well here he is cancer free. We know we are not out of the woods, he will always be monitored. In early July, I had to have an immediate hysterectomy and was still recovering when Clifton had his accident. I will be followed up as cancer cells were found. George had just finished his treatments. One of Georges first thoughts were that he fought the cancer to be there for Cliftons wedding, Cliftons children etc... My thoughts were that I had lost my only child and had a husband that may pass as well. I dont think I worked 30 hours in any given week this year. I have an amazing boss and amazing co-workers. On a daily basis, they showed how much I was loved. They covered my job for me, brought us meals and more than anything showed what wonderful friends they are. Through this year, I have made some amazing friends and formed relationships that will carry me through the rest of my life. The Facebook friends have been there for me in good and bad. You have each encouraged me when I only wanted to give up. I would get little messages that truly spoke directly to my heart. My life will never be the same. So as 2015 approaches, I will take one breath at a time. I will be thankful for all that I have. It is not my position to ask God why? It will always be difficult without Clifton, but I do know we will be together again one day. Gods plan was not what I expected, but I have to trust in him. I will still have my pitty parties and always hurt and never be the same, but through this God will use me according to his plan. I pray that each of you that have followed this difficult journey with me, to enjoy each moment with those loved ones. Life is difficult and hectic, but try to give that hug and I love yous when you can. I hope each of you will continue to be my support and know that I read each of your post and I thank God for each of you. God Bless you all in 2015! Charlotte
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 03:29:03 +0000