As you all know, my oldest son Ryan is having really hard times. His company just laid him off and he is panicked. He is waiting on his unemployment and he finally got food stamps. but he said if he does not have his rent by the 1st he will be homeless. I have spoken to his roommate once before and he seems like a very kind person, but I dont know their arrangements. So I can not say if it is true or not. However, yesterday; my son told me that he is done with living. He said, he is very scared and is not built for the life of the homeless and has decided that he no longer wants to be here in this world. He said that death is better and he feels there is no other choice left. He said he doesnt understand why when he is doing right, life goes wrong. I can not change his heart. All I could say was: Pray son!! Really pray!! I have sent him money every month and so have some of you angels. But he can not depend on anyone for his livelihood, he needs to depend on God. I got a text today around 7:30 p.m. that simply said: I love u mom You did the best u could Love you I have not heard from him since. Not sure if it is another manipulative ploy or if he finally gave up. So please say some prayers for him to find inner peace with God. He has already overdosed twice this year and flat lined and was revived at the E.R. He told me he went to a very dark and scary place when he left and he found he never wanted to see that place again. So he has been going to church. Or so he has told me. So he is not afraid of letting go, he is afraid of holding on. I have no answers for him. I can barely make it for the kids and I. So please, just say a prayer for him. Pray that he will find peace and that somehow God will intervene and allow him to find the employment he needs before his rent is due. God already told me he would not be homeless......but when you are in the middle of the storm, it all appears very dark and scary and you feel like there are no choices. Please pray!!!! Thank you so much. Love Stephy
Posted on: Thu, 22 Jan 2015 08:29:08 +0000
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