As you probably already know, these types of videos I dont usually share. Its a dark side of life for Lena and its very personal. But, I feel the need to share every now and then just to educate others and show what life is like for Lena and our family. It goes from smiles and giggles to shaking and gasping for breath in nano seconds and is terrifying. This isnt something a child should endure and isnt something a family should have to watch and tremble in fear. It breaks my heart every time and I worry one day I may not have the strength to put the pieces back together. To say I hate seizures would be an understatement. I despise them and what they do to my baby. Reality is, we can lose her at any moment and the thought paralyses me to my core. Holding her close while whispering to her how much I love her and pleading with God to give her back is one of the worst things I have ever done. Im so scared she will leave me one day, that those stupid seizures will steal her away from me. Rocking her after while her body is jittery and she hurts always make me cry. She gets no relief and I cant fix it, it breaks me down. Im supposed to kiss the booboos and make it all right but Im helpless. Honestly, I usually dont watch these videos after I take them. I just cant make myself relive it like that but I have to record them for the doctors. I hate this! I hate how helpless I am and how much these seizures steal from my Lena bug. All I can do it hold her close and thank God for another day, for bringing her back again. I just hope he will continue to give her back to me and not get annoyed at my cries. Please continue to pray for Lena. I hope this video doesnt upset anyone, I know its hard to watch. But the world needs to know just what Lena has to endure with the seizures. Thank you everyone!
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 19:49:49 +0000
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