Asiwaju: Alarm don blow o. They just called me from INEC that our party would be disqualified if you refuse as usual, to submit your basic certificates. They said you did not submit any certificate in all your past attempts. Five-star Army General without basic education, where is your First School Leaving Certificate? Fayemi: Asiwaju waiti jare. Dont Go Ballistic yet o. Let us hear from the horses mouth o. Tinubu: Dr. Fayemi, bobo yi olo primary school o. Buhari: Walahi talahi, I do not have any. That is why am here to beg you to help me quench this scandal with ease like you quenched your chicago/toronto scandal. But you should know am not Ojukwu who joined military with Oxford University degree. During our time, education was not compulsory. Fayemi: Ha ha ha. Two halfwits. Awon Olodo Meji. Like Toronto like Military. Birds of the same feather flock together. What am I even doing in their midst? Asiwaju: You should have told us that in the military, primary education is not compulsory. Buhari: Are you saying I must have FSLC to know how to handle AK-47and pull the trigger? I am a combatant and I can destroy the enemies with or without primary school education. For example, those our boys in Sambissa, the Bokos (I do not want Fayemi to hear), do you think they have primary education? Are they not performing better than a PhD? Tinubu: You are deviating. To start with, the Sambissa issue is a top secret between me and you. Let us not go there in public. How do we solve this problem? Should we bring in Oby Ezekwesili and that hungry boy, Dino, to make some noise again. Fayemi: Please count me out o. I still have my N50Million bed and mattresses scandal to settle with Fayose. I am not ready to go to jail yet. Both of you are Janjaweed. You know how to beat the system. So deal with it. Buhari: You see why we can not trust people like Fayose? First you gave me Okadigbo, where is he now? He left without me. Then Bakare, he could not even step down for someone else when we asked him to. Now again it is Osinbajo. Where is Osinbajo? Is this problem not affecting him as my running mate as well? Tinubu: I am here for myself and Osinbajo. How many times would I need to remind you that Osinbajo is in this election as proxy? He is standing in for me in the election assuming we are allowed to contest. Buhari: Ok. We can send a message to Shekau to increase tempo and then release a tape after each attack that no one should be disqualified because of Western Education in any Nigerian election. Tinubu: Yes, yes. That is a good move. Shekau should keep stressing that Western Education is forbidden. Only Arabic should be enough for a presidential candidate in an Islamic country like Nigeria. Buhari: Now you are talking. Asiwaju the Emperor. Tinubu: But let me warn you, If it does not work, I will #VoteJonathan o and also tell my people to #VoteGEJ2015 . I can dump any candidate at anytime. Ask Ribadu what I did to him in the last presidential election. Fayemi: In view of this invincible certificate, I have already decided to #StandWithJonathan Buhari: But alternatively, cant we super-impose my name on one of the very many certificates of Osinbajo? After all, what is he my deputy for if he cannot help me out in difficult situations like this. Tinubu: I say No to that. The moment we do that Obasanjo will start again. It could even end up in the new book he is writing. Even my Toronto certificate issued to me by Oluwole boys here in Lagos; Obj discovered it was fake. You must produce your certificates. Gowon, IBB, Obasanjo, Danjuma, AbdulSalam, and couple of your other colleagues are all still alive. How do we convince them that you returned back to school without their knowledge, couple of years ago? Fayemi: There is no way you could have gone back to primary school after being a Head of state and it would remain a secret up till now. Buhari: But I am born-to-rule and not born-to-attend-school. To rule this estate called Nigeria is my right and the right of my people. You people can continue to go to school. I wish you goodluck.
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 15:32:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015