Asking for prayer from all of my prayer buddies to help me to bridle my tongue which is my thorn in the flesh. Hurting because of my own foolishness and I am ashamed and disgusted with myself. The only reason why I continue is because there is no HOPE outside of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. I would rather die than to shame my LORD! I think of all the years I have been on this earth and never felt that I ever belonged. Everything in my life has been one rejection after another and one betrayal after another. The pain, tears, sorrow, disappointment and lack of belonging and even love has been hard to deal with. I am tied of strings, being pulled like a marionette and trying to fit in. However, God saw fit to give me the love I missed through both mother and biological dad. God showed me that HE loved me while I was yet a sinner and died for me to prove HIS love. It HURTS to fall, to stumble, to even make a backward step. Even when you apologize, you think about the shame you have brought to God! Now the pain is even harder to deal with because it is against the ONE that loved you without strings. It is against the ONE who thought enough of you to send HIS only begotten Son, Jesus to take your place on the cross. Jesus, sinless, lovingly obedient till death. I HURT, I am ashamed, I am sorry, I cry and I want to be a perfect imitation of Jesus rather than sin against my ONE and ONLY TRUE LOVE, GOD! Jesus is my only HOPE, so I must continue to get up and run this race until the end! Pray for me POKE buddies, friends, family and saints [as I also pray for you] that we all continue this race enduring until the end! In the Mighty Name of Jesus, amen!
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 23:02:37 +0000
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