At 3:15 a.m. Sugarland time two years ago my life changed forever. I was in chile visiting Katie, enjoying time away with Kim. It was 7:15 a.m. chile time. Kims cell phone rang and I could hear Colin screaming into the cell phone, I could hear Kim telling Colin to keep calm and to call him soon. Kim hung up the phone and said it was Colin, that there was an accident. I assumed that one of the dogs got out and was hit by a car. Colin would be screaming about that, he would be very upset about something like that. Kim told me Jamie had an accident. My first thought was that he was at a soccer game and broke his leg. I had not oriented myself to the time difference yet. Kim then told me he had been life flighted to memorial Hermann in Houston..this was BAD, really BAD. Colin called us back after he arrived at the hospital and I asked him if Jamie was in pain,,he told me he had asked the same questions of the doctors and they said they did not know: he was still too drunk. I knew we had to get home as soon as possible. Kim worked magic, finding a flight to panama city, then to orlando, then to Houston. We got back in 12 hours. While being in various planes I kept looking out the window. I saw many strange configurations in the clouds. The little mermaids, belle and the beast, the three little pigs,,but after hours of looking at these configurations in the clouds, I came to realize that I was looking for Jamie to come through the clouds as he made his way to heaven. I decided my job was to make sure that he would not come thru these clouds, but if he tried I would tell him to get his butt down back down, that he was not going to leave me without me being by his side. That I would not let him leave this earth alone, I would be by his side, he would not be alone. This happened two years ago at the same time as I remember and journal this now. I have cried many times, sometimes several times a day these past 730 days. I have journaled Jamies progress from not sure if he would live the next 72 hours to a nurse telling me to pull the plug, to therapies at TIRR to HBOT and living in Louisiana for 4 months, not knowing what the future held, but hoping the decisions made were the right decisions. My posts have always been about Jamies progress, his struggles and his victories.. I am now taking this time to speak to parents, loved ones, friends. If you know of anyone at all who is drinking and then driving I want you to know how my life has changed. My life has changed FOREVER. It stopped on the 24th of November, 2011. Forget about me changing Jamies diapers, tube feeding him, etc.. Think about the freedoms that you enjoy now and will lose immediately. When you are looking at your loved one after such an accident and the dr.s are telling you this is a 5 year journey MINIMUM and you think no way, they are young, athletic, healthy, a year at best think again. I thought this, I now know different through experience. Jamies life came to a screeching halt, and my life stopped with his. In the beginning many friends said how they would be by my side through this...I believed them,,why wouldnt I? This was a year at best in Jamies recovery.. That year has now been 2 years as I write this,,at this moment, we have begun year 3,, I have lost many friends, many promises have been broken, many who professed love for Jamie have had the luxury of walking away when inconvenient and coming back when convenient. Its okay, I get it, it doesnt hurt anymore. I dont even feel disappointment anymore. This is a long journey, and not many are up to the job...it is a hard job, rewards few and far between, verbal, mental and physical abuse part of the job. It comes with the territory, and many dont (or want to educate themselves) to understand this comes with a TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY. It is certainly hard to understand the frustrations of a TBI person..that noise is amplified, that a visit to the doctor or dentist is exhausting, that a TBI person suffers brain fatigue and just shuts down.. That they dont want to lash out at you, but their frustrations are just too much to handle. I have lived with this for two years now, beginning year three right now. I love this man with all my heart, and I am by his side for as long as it takes, but at the same time I mourn for what could have been in store for me. I did not envision my mid 50s going to therapies 3-4 times a weeks, to living on my own in a strange city, to rushing to the grocery store to pick up meds all the while worrying, is he getting up, walking on his own, has he fallen, but yet enjoying those 10-15 minutes on my own. I am not ashamed to admit that I am jealous of those that enjoy the freedoms that have been taken away from me,, I thought I would be able to travel with Kim on business trips, visit friends in Florida, Barbados, etc to go diving, relaxing, seeing other parts of the world,,I honestly do not believe that will ever happen... Many times I am asked how is Jamie doing? I always respond he is doing well Jamie is doing well, considering Considering that we were told he may not live the next 72 hours Considering we were told he most likely would never walk, Considering.... Jamie is doing well, he takes a host of vitamins, has never been sick, not even a sniffle, that is not allowed,, But truth be told, everything is slow, walking, talking, thinking, you name it, its slow,,it makes me so incredibly sad as he was so fast before the 24th of November 2011.... I miss that fast person, my heart breaks and wills him to return, my heart knows that the reality is that person is gone and I have to learn to accept the new Jamie, but it is so hard to face that reality,,,but I will love him regardless,, I will work to fill that void that has been made through loss of friendship, comradeship, so that he may feel lonely at times, but I will continue to try so very hard to take that loneliness away,,, If you, as a parent or someone who knows of someone driving after drinking, are up to the challenge of caring for someone who suffers a TBI after drinking and driving, then please just file this under need to know , but if you are not that person who does not think you are up to this challenge, then please sit down with your kids or loved ones, let them know what they will face if they drive after drinking and educate them using Jamie as an example.. I have now entered year 3 in my journey to help Jamie recover from his accident. Will Jamie recover 100%, I hope so, but I dont think so,,,I am a realist, and I refuse to set myself or Jamie up for failure.. But i know that no matter what I will be there for him,,no matter what,,he will never be alone in this journey PRAY, TALK TO YOUR LOVED ONES, DONT DRINK AND DRIVE
Posted on: Sun, 24 Nov 2013 09:21:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015