At 3 a.m. I woke up really heartbroken, really missing my mom, and when I let my mind drift onto these things...I feel like I can never get up...like I can never amount to anything...and I dont feel like doing anything or talking to anyone...but I remembered my prayer from before I went to bed, and that was that with Gods help I would become a stronger and better person, and that I wanted him to speak to me. Someone who could control their reactions in tough situations. Someone who would actually accomplish something in a day, rather then dreading life and staying in bed for days, like I normally do. But when I reached for the sleeping pills, I heard God saying in my heart, Dont take those pills I will help you sleep. So I went to brush my teeth. When I spit out my toothpaste and looked up in the mirror I heard Jesus say Her memory should not be your destruction, it should be your motivation. And I felt his peace. His peace that surpasses all understanding. And then I knew what I had to do. I had to get up and do life. Trusting in God, by taking responsibility and ownership in my life. Trusting in him that he shall supply all my needs. So I will not linger in depression anymore. I will always and forever miss my mom, but her life was beautiful, because of her works in God, and mine will be too.
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 16:54:31 +0000
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