Attention people in parking lots who indicate that they wish to claim the spot I am presently occupying by sitting behind me and turning their blinkers on: Youre an asshole for a variety of reasons. Youre building a line of cars behind you. Youre inconveniencing others in the name of your own convenience. Further, your little blinker is meant as a passive-aggressive notification for me to hurry up and move because the sooner I go, the sooner you will be so gracious as to move your clunker and allow the ever-increasing hostages behind you to pass. I will not hurry for you. Even if I am presently involved with a time-constraint I will now lazily take my time. I might sit and read a magazine or, in lieu of no reading material, I will open my glove-box and review my insurance policy line-by-line. I may sit and enjoy a cigar while blowing the smoke in a way that you can see. If I am feeling playful I will put my car in reverse and keep my foot on the brake to merely give the impression that I will be backing up soon, but Im not going anywhere. In fact, we are now involved in a test of wills and I have no intention of breaking first. I will sit there all god damn day just to spite you.
Posted on: Sat, 12 Apr 2014 23:54:10 +0000
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