Attraction Of The Affair Received a call yesterday from a friend in a nearby town, a heart-breaking call, considering I had been good friends with both he and his wife for many years! He had been working multiple shifts recently, so his hours of work varied widely, but three days ago his shift ended early, I believe because of an equipment breakdown(?), so he decided to surprise his wife with some flowers, card, and gift, he hadnt had much time of late to show her the affection he would have liked to! As he neared their home, he noticed a vehicle, which wasnt one of theirs, in the driveway, but told me he wasnt concerned at first, and thought it was probably one of her friends or perhaps one of her relatives who had gotten a new car, from that point his innocent explanations took a drastic and cruel turn! He entered his home, and almost immediately heard some muffled voices from the hallway which led to the bedrooms, then he saw his wife, in a nightgown, leaving their bedroom, and the look on her face pretty much told the whole story! Another man, someone from her employment, was standing half-dressed at their bedroom door! He told me the shock it all just caused the flowers, card, and gift to drop to the floor, and he turned without saying a word and left the house! She didnt say anything either, or so he could remember(?)! He said he just drove almost endlessly for hours, shocked, confused, and heart-broken! I could understand why, they were a lovely couple in their late thirties, had no children because his wife wasnt fertile due to an operation she required soon after they were married, but they talked about adopting a few times, but never went further than a few discussions shortly after her surgery, and then the subject just sort of faded away! As far as he knew, and I could see, they were a happy couple, caring, considerate, and loving, and the idea of an affair had never crossed his mind, but obviously it had crossed hers! He was pretty shook up on the phone, his emotions ran the gambit of feelings and thoughts, and he choked up several times, but we talked it through, and I tried to be a friend to him as well as her, though that part was difficult for me! All the years Id known them, he had been a hard-working and caring husband, and never uttered a disrespectful word to her, at least in my presence(?)! I used to visit them often, but health matters, and a difficult relationship of my own had restricted my visiting them for a couple of years, though we would occasionally email or speak via phone, and I too was in shock of his news! Of the many couples I knew, theirs would have been about the last I would have imagined having to deal with infidelity, never seemed feasible! After a few hours of conversation, I told him if there was any consideration of a reconciliation, they should talk through the situation and maybe find some renewal of trust, if there was any to be found, and he said he would try to do that, but wasnt sure if he could face her right away, the pain was just too much! Then I told him, if their discussion(s) couldnt find a way through the circumstance, to visit a lawyer and proceed with a divorce, without trust, relationships and marriages have little or no hope of lasting, and he was young enough to heal and begin a new life without her! That seemed to give him a sense of a rational view, and I noticed his tone leveled from the spectral bounce it had been on! He did suggest, at one point, I might be able to speak with her, but I declined, explaining the matter was between them, and a third partys interference would only present an atmosphere of power and secret alliance, and if they had any hope, it was openness between them and them alone! He hasnt called me back yet, but I feel he will in a few days, and maybe with news of what direction they would proceed, hope its welcome news, I like them both! What makes “Affairs” so attractive? Its merely a chemical impulse all people have a choice to embrace or reject, and though some social substances might sway the choice one way or the other, just an honest thought can lead anyone to the correct decision, whatever decision that might be, but the Trust Issue is really what is being “Put On The Line”, and all the Trust developed over time can be “Dashed” in a heartbeat, yet Affairs do happen, and probably have a myriad of reasoning or impulse behind them, but the honest approach is if an attraction becomes so strong to be with someone else, then end the relationship you are in, and seek out the other, the personal damage to lives is too great not to! And, you open the door to secrets and guilt, if not shame, and those can stay with you a long time, maybe forever(?)! Yet there is another factor some people have to face, call it an “Addiction” if you will, and though it may be internally justified through dishonesty and excuses, that goes to the core of a persons character, and is uncontrollable until it is honestly dealt with, and sometimes is never dealt with, at least in the depth it needs to be dealt with, and those are sad and shameful stories!
Posted on: Sat, 26 Oct 2013 12:53:54 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015