BE CAREFUL WHO YOU LOVE! Sam and Susan met in their diploma days at the university. They were what many would call the perfect pair. They were in love and everyone knew it. They shared so much together in time, resources and affection. They were always together and within a short while became inseparable. It was as though their love was made from heaven, they hardly quarreled and even when they differed in opinion they had their way of resolving and ironing out their differences. Everyone liked their style, admired them and envied them. They looked good together and looked perfect for marriage. A few months after their relationship hence; they began to take more seriously the idea of spending the rest of their lives together. They began to talk along the line of marriage. Consequently, they introduced each other to their parents and the whole affair became a family thing. Both families accepted each other, appreciated each other and only waited for the time to consummate the affair of these lovely children into full marriage. After their diploma however, ASUU went on strike for so many months and Sam’s parents; not liking the delay at all decided to send Sam to the United States for his university degree education. It was a sensitive and painful decision for both Sam and Susan, yet had very obvious merits and with great reluctance and magnanimous display of emotions they obliged and Sam travelled to the US to study. Consequently ASUU suspended the strike and Susan returned to school. The resumption didn’t help her emotional situation at all. She was lonely and alone. Everyone knew her and Sam and everyone wanted to know if they were still together. Admirers of their relationship and close associates didn’t help matters, every time Susan was in the company of any strange fellow her friends would walk up to her and begin to ask about Sam. They didn’t do it out of malice, I think they felt they should just protect the relationship still despite the fact that Sam wasn’t around. Many people loved the pair. For four years, this pair kept it together in regular contact and communication. They spoke and chatted every day. They sent mails and connected on Skype every day. Sam shared what he did daily with Susan and Susan did same. They were only separated by location but most definitely together in soul and continuous communication. After two years, Susan was opportune to travel to the US to visit Sam; it was a most thrilling experience for her. She was so excited to see him. She spent two weeks in the US and had great fun going places, meeting his friends and experiencing his world. It was a great experience. Sam was in creative arts and the beauty and excitement tied to this course of study fascinated Susan. She liked his course, liked his work and thoroughly enjoyed her stay. Returning to Nigeria was with great reluctance but of course it’s necessary she returned to school. Susan didn’t also distant herself from Sam’s family, she went to them very frequently and became friends with Sam’s younger sister. Everything looked perfect and set and Susan was only hoping and counting down to that day Sam would eventually return to Nigeria and they would be married. Consequently Susan was done with school; she served and began to work. She secured employment with a software development outfit and was doing pretty well as a software engineer. She was making good income and all she then wanted was to get married. Sam was also done schooling but ironically instead of returning to Nigeria decided to stay back and work for a while to gain experience before coming home. He secured employment with a beauty and fashion outfit and was a top designer for this establishment. He was also doing pretty well; maybe a little too well. After two years of working, Susan was getting impatient with Sam and was really putting him under pressure to come to Nigeria for their introduction and marriage. Susan was willing to follow him to the US if that’s what he wanted, but Sam kept postponing his visit and making excuses about work. After another year, Sam then informed Susan and his family he had resigned from where he worked and has started his own beauty and fashion business in partnership with his friend Joe; an African American. Susan wasn’t happy about this at all as she thought he would have returned home to start his business in Nigeria. Despite all these odd behaviors from Sam, Susan had no reason to doubt his commitment as there had never been any incidence of cheating or unfaithfulness. She had all the passwords to his social media accounts, went to check regularly, saw his pictures and comments and there was no trace or suggestion of any form of relationship with any other girl except her. Sam appeared more focused and dedicated to his work; he didn’t seem to have time for distractions from any other girl. After two years, the situation had degenerated so badly and everyone had become very impatient with Sam including his parents and siblings; everyone insisted it is time for him to come to Nigeria and get married to Susan. It’s not fair to this poor girl, she’s been waiting for so many years; Sam can’t just be selfish thinking about himself alone with no consideration for others especially his wife to be. Sam’s father had to threaten Sam to come home and get married if not everyone would cut him off and stop contacting or communicating with him. Susan’s parents were already suggesting Susan should forget Sam and look elsewhere for a future partner as Sam appeared unserious or he’s over her and wouldn’t want her no more. Everyone was concerned but more confused about Sam’s unusual attitude to Susan and this marriage issue. At last, just after Susan turned 29, Sam decided to come home and get married to her. Susan was very excited and relieved; her very long wait would not be in vain after all, it’s worth the wait if at last she’s getting married to her true love, her one love, her only love. Everyone was happy for her and immediately everyone got busy making plans and preparations for the wedding. The whole idea was for Sam to come home a couple of days to the wedding, get married and go back to the US with Susan. This was acceptable to everyone as it is only wise for him not to shut down his fast growing fashion business in the US and start from the scratch in Nigeria. Susan began to make plans and arrangement for her great day. The wedding planner was contacted, decisions and choices were now being made; the wedding concept, the colours, the fabrics, the reception venue, the decoration, the bridal shower, the honey moon destination, the cake, the make-up, the drinks, the catering, everything was been planned and decided by Susan in agreement with her in-laws. Sam wasn’t here so she had to do most of the running around for both of them. Subsequently the IVs were ready and all their friends from their diploma days were issued invites to attend this much awaited union. Everyone was happy and excited about the wedding, everyone was ready to spend, a top music artiste, music band and DJ were contracted to give the occasion the best in music, dancing and entertainment, a top MC and comedian had also been engaged to make the occasion lively and memorable; photographers, ushers everything was just in place and with class. Susan was very happy and excited; her day of glory was drawing near and pretty fast too. It was the Wednesday before the wedding ceremony; Susan and Sam’s siblings were at the airport waiting for him to arrive; it was an early morning arrival and everyone had been up early to go to the international airport to receive Sam after so long and for such an exciting home coming. Susan couldn’t hold back the tears when she saw her man, she shed tears of joy as she held him tight in her embrace at the airport, everyone was excited and happy, Sam had really changed, he looked so different and very handsome; almost beautiful. His involvement in fashion and beauty must have really influenced the way he looked now; very clean, neat, spotless and attractive. His friend and business partner Joe came along as the best man. Sam did the introduction and they all began to chat happily as they entered the car and drove to the house where everyone was waiting anxiously for Sam the bridegroom. Susan was all over Sam right from the airport all through the time they had to go home and began to move around together in readiness for the wedding that weekend, she would laugh, hug, peck, tease and joke with him. She asked so many questions and wanted him to answer everything at the same time. She was so happy and excited, however she didn’t miss the fact it appeared Sam was a bit cold and distant; he appeared to have changed somehow; it appeared the excitement and affection towards her had somewhat waned. The introduction and engagement ceremony had just ended that Friday evening, everyone was happy about the success, family and friends were now departing for their homes in readiness for the next day Saturday; the wedding day. Susan had changed from her elegant engagement outfit into a pair of jeans and T-shirt. She wanted to sleep early so as to wake up early for make-up and dress up for the church wedding. Sam and Joe had also returned to their hotel room and planned to retire to bed early against the next day. Around 9pm that evening, Sam’s accessories – belt, cravat, shoes and wrist watch was eventually delivered at Susan’s house based on order. Susan decided to take these to Sam’s hotel room to check if the shoes fit well rather than wait till the morning and discover it’s not his perfect size. She rushed to the hotel room not very far from her house in her car and arrived there a few minutes to 10pm. Of course she’s been in and out of that hotel in the last couple of days so no one stopped her or questioned where she was going; she’s been in Sam’s room more than any other visitor to that hotel. She got to the door and opened without knocking, she didn’t expect any surprise hence wasn’t thinking. She entered the room and was shocked to discover Sam was on the bed, beneath the sheets with someone else, making out intensely. They didn’t even notice Susan had come into the room. Susan, out of annoyance, shock and disbelief walked to the bed and yanked off the sheet to see who this girl with her husband-to-be was and Susan got the shock of her life; it wasn’t a girl, it was Joe; Sam’s business partner and best man; the African American that followed him to Nigeria; they were both naked; they were making out, they were lovers. Ladies and gentlemen may I say to you tonight that people change. Yes people change. As we grow older, our values, beliefs, life concepts and perceptions are modified and remolded by our exposures, experiences and mind conditioning. The expectation or thought that you know someone well can be disappointed with ease. Anyone you’ve not interacted with closely or intimately for as short as two years may have changed tremendously and become a total stranger the next time you meet. In my opinion, committing your life in marriage to a stranger is the worst mistake anyone can make. Marriage is not like going to school and graduating, it’s a lifelong commitment involving the lives of children. You can’t afford to be careless or emotional about it. Never marry a stranger; that so called fiancé may have changed in ways extremely difficult for you to handle after separation by distance and time. Be wise! Don’t rush into marriage with a partner in distant relationship. Ensure you spend enough time together after reuniting before getting hooked. If not, your marriage may be full of surprises. Be careful. Love changes
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 20:09:23 +0000