【BLOG】 This year has been a total roller coaster of emotions for me. For someone who you can consider have lost her conciousness to reactions and ability to feel, I can proudly say that Ive becoming a human, little by little and survived this years destructive ebb. The last few months of this year have been a difficult stage for me. Unsolved problems stacked up endlessly and sometimes, all I can do is cry about it. The feeling of helplessness and being alone triggered my most silent demon that I have been suppressed for years. I thought I have already locked that thing into the very deepest part of my system, away from the surface, or even a slightest hint of remembering it. But then I failed. I have lost my defenses and fell to it. And then after that, I was succumbed to the familiar feeling of darkness years ago. On the other hand, I am quite thankful to it because eventhough it was a tough ride, I can still laugh and smile at simple things like I am used to. Continuously appreciating things and looking at the different angles and views to everything. Not to mention being interested to the those that piqued my curiosity. I always love seeking new things. A positive outlook despite being caged in a negative situation. As for the people who have been with me and some are already left, I am forever grateful that they have been a part of my memories. Though, most of them have been a victim of my unreasonable attitude and hurt them, and I know for a fact that they are mad at me, still, I am glad that I stumbled upon those interesting people and add some colors in my quirky world. I may not find another as great as them, but I am hopeful that the futures will be as fun as ever. All I can say to those that left is, I am sorry. There will be no perfect words to erase what I have done, but from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. And to those who have stick with me thru thick and thin, thank you for believing in me. And with that, even though it is not the end of the year yet, I can slowly close the book of my 2014 and will start the Chapter 1 of my 2015. Lets all have a great and fun ride!
Posted on: Fri, 26 Dec 2014 01:15:12 +0000
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