BREAKING NEWS: PRESS RELEASE - APRIL 1, 2014 - FRANKLIN, TN OUT OF NASHVILLE AND NEARBY FRANKLIN today comes the news that Blake Sheltin has been voted Best Damn Country Vocalist Of All Time And For All Ages And Shit by the CMAO, MSoCM, UPS, NAACP, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Sheltin, along with Mirambo Lamberth, Tailer Swiftt, that guy from Rascul Flatter whose hair stands straight up, Reber, Carry, Luke, Condoleezza, and Charlie Denials have announced a “We Are The Best” tour for the summer of 2014 through Latvia, Slobovia, and Lower Wankovia. They will end the tour in Turkey, where Sheltin has said he thinks they will feel “right at home.” He has indicated many new songs will be introduced on this tour, all of which are sure to become the Number Ones for the rest of the Year. Sheltin will perform “I Drink Beer In My Truck” while Lamberth will sing, “I Also Drink Beer In His Truck.” Swiftt’s new chart topper will be “I’ll Never, Ever, Ever, Never, Never, or Forever Stop Drinking Beer In His Truck.” The Rascul Flatter guy will show off his newly found musical skill by playing the Swinette on the record. Reber, Carrye, Luke, and Condoleezza have formed an old fashioned barber shop quartette, and will be accompanied by Charlie Denials on tuba as they sing another brand new Sheltin penned hit, “We Are Going To Sit On The Tailgate While They Drink Beer In His Truck.” Many publishers, label heads, writers, interns, pole dancers, and janitors in Nashville have already gone on record as saying this will be the highlight of the 2014 Country Music Calendar, and they feel the upcoming DVD release will dominate every award show next year, and will air on The Voices several times in the near future. More news to follow on this exciting story. Please note the date of the press release. Thank you.
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 20:18:48 +0000
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