BREAKING NEWS: The Anaconda’s innocent secondary school students were cunningly misled by malicious and treacherous officials not to adhere to, nor even bother with the Anaconda’s professional training recommendations in August 2014, prior to an important international youth championship. The flabbergasted officials had previously been heavily criticized and reprimanded by the no-nonsense Anaconda for gross incompetence. Now, it is very well known by CNN and Al-Jazeera that only one in 40 million FIDE Dancers can actually perform a live Kuku Dance like the bespectacled Anaconda. Aaaatte Whuuott!? He makes it seem like a very easy task, but the Anaconda’s priceless skills were acquired through 14 patient years of consistent and challenging hands-on experience which is much more important than the deceptive badges and certificates issued during FIDE Dancers’ seminars and workshops. A la la la la long, A la la la la long long li long long long-term strategy is the name of this new dance: 90 minutes to make 40 moves with a 30-second increment for every move made. The Anaconda’s heartbeat and breathing have been perfectly synchronized with endgame, tactical and positional lectures in countless public government schools in Kirinyaga, Nyeri, Embu, Meru, and Nyandarua Counties. Analyzing opening novelties is his daily way of life. Any hurried attempts by blitz addicts and tourists to produce overnight counterfeit photocopies of the Original Anaconda will invariably backfire. The disastrous, miserable and pathetic results of malicious, treacherous and flabbergasted official decisions can be viewed here: 1)chess-results/tnr144250.aspx?lan=1&art=1&rd=10&turdet=YES&flag=30&wi=984 2)chess-results/tnr144251.aspx?lan=1&art=1&rd=10&turdet=YES&flag=30&wi=984 3)chess-results/tnr144252.aspx?lan=1&art=1&rd=10&turdet=YES&flag=30&wi=984 4)chess-results/tnr144253.aspx?lan=1&art=1&rd=10&turdet=YES&flag=30&wi=984 5)chess-results/tnr144248.aspx?lan=1&art=1&rd=10&turdet=YES&flag=30&wi=984 In all the world’s major sporting disciplines, the elevated center-stage is strictly preserved for the very best players; no arbiter, official, organizer, spectator, blitz addict or tourist can substitute a grandmaster’s brilliant novelties, combinations and signature on the bloody score-sheet. If the three-legged wizards Christiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi suddenly became match referees, linesmen and club managers while still contesting the Golden Boot Award, the beautiful game of premier league soccer would certainly die of un-natural causes. Fortunately, the Hungarian Chess Federation was not able to prevent the Anaconda of Hungary, Mr.Laszlo Polgar, from raising his sweet lovely daughter into Grandmaster Judit Polgar (Elo 2735 Highest Personal Best), the world’s strongest female player of all time. Likewise, the Indian Chess Federation was not able to prevent the Anaconda of India, Mr.Ashok Koneru, from raising his sweet lovely daughter into Grandmaster Humpy Koneru (Elo 2623 Highest Personal Best), the 2011 Womens’ World Championship Challenger. Dear malicious, treacherous and incompetent official, utajitetea ukiwa upande gani? All rise, court proceedings adjourned. To be continued...
Posted on: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 09:54:29 +0000
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