Bachelorette week 2 standings: 1. Las Vegas: its takes a few days for you to get your priorities straight--that being the pursuit of love and happiness on a nationally televised show--after spending three (essentially) sleepless nights in Vegas. Sorry Andi, but pool parties, great times, and clubs are real to me. ITS REAL TO ME! 2. Shirtless goodbyes: amazing how Andi first enters the house to a crew of well dressed, fully clothed individuals and leaves a house of casually shirtless bros waving her goodbye out in front. The Opps I must have forgot to put on my shirt move. ABC is now copying literally all of my moves. 3. HELICOPTERS: we meet again, you smart car of the sky. 4. Morning geling: doesnt matter if its 8am or the eve of the apocalypse, make sure that hair is well coiffed. Again, see #2. 5. This is the coolest thing ever: over-enthusiasm was the theme of this episode: whether it was Josh M having a nervous organism of excitement at the rose ceremony, to Andi perfecting the cheesy over exaggerated, mouth open/half smiling expression when she said something clever (I use that term verrrrry liberally), this episode was a full onslaught of in-your-face enthusiasm that wouldve made a group of youth camp counselors seem like goths. 6. Snowball fights: Eric scores a gazillion points for not going all Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber and pelting Andi with a 90mph snowball to the face. Great self control. 7. Hollywood Men strip club: where does Josh M sign and how quickly would Craig Not Shocked at all weed is legal in Denver and Im from Denver be purchasing front row tickets? Jodi Foster reading John Hinckley Jr. love notes felt less awkward than Josh M. 8. Chris (Noth) the farmers declaration that Andi is the most amazing girl in the world: followed by his farmer mother--who gave birth to him and his known him for more than two episodes--permanently disowning Chris (Noth) the farmer and flipping the tv off like Stone Cold Steve Austin. 9. Craig getting real: which means bros wrestling in a pool while waving their shirts and yelling. I dont know where you come from assistant DA Andi, but where Im from, thats about as real as me and my bros get. 10. Stamos 11. Old couple of 55 years conveniently sitting next to the lovely bachelorette and her Chris (Noth) farmer: whod da thunk it?? The last time I was at a horse race, I sat next to a guy who smelled like Bugles and was wearing a panama jack hat. His only advice was to be careful where you pee. Good advice, Ill concede that. But at that very moment, I realized that..... 12. ......Maybe now I just need to pick the right horse: Ahhh....ahhhhh...AHHHH I see what you did there! The horse is your mate and youre at a race where you actually pick a horse. Mind....blown. Well played, AD. Well fing played. Until next time.
Posted on: Fri, 30 May 2014 14:10:46 +0000
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