Back by popular demand!! Well, hellllo, what do we have here? Ummm, could it be an invention created by a childless person? Or at least not by a woman, that’s for sure. I shit you not, this a real product. It’s called the Baby Lasso and supposedly it helps restrain your kid while you’re changing his diaper. Uhhhh, yeah right. I mean yes, I remember when I had to pin my kid down like a greased pig to change his poo, but I promise, THIS is NOT the answer. Remember when you had a baby and you were like constantly coming up with ideas for new baby products but you were way too lazy and sleep-deprived to ever develop your invention and then six months later you’d remember it and be like WTF was I thinking? This is one of those products only someone actually went forward with it. Anyways, click on the link and you’ll see. And then come back because I have a few thoughts about this oh-so-helpful invention. 1. Yes, when I want to restrain my kid, I definitely think I should position his feet to kick me in my boobs as much as humanly possible. This was clearly invented by a female. Not. 2. Yo SNL, did you come up with this for one of your crazy commercials? Mom jeans. Dick in a box. Baby Lasso. 2. Remember those old 1970’s exercise thingies that attached to your doorknob in your house? Or maybe it was just my mom who had one. 3. I just know with baby brain I’d forget to unhook my child and I’d walk away from the changing table and he’d be hanging upside down from my neck. WOMAN: Ohhh, I love your baby charm necklace! It’s so realistic. And loud. 4. Or I guess his feet might slip out of the stirrups and he’d fall on his head and die. But at least I wouldn’t have poop on my clothes. 5. So my kid suddenly bends his knees and my face is thrust into a giant pile of crap or I head-butt him. Awesome. 6. And basically this prevents you from ducking or moving when the kid decides to start spraying you with urine. Wahhh, quit peeing on me! I can’t move! 7. Does anyone else feel like the lady’s arms are up because she’s like WTF? 8. So let me get this straight. You tie him up and then wipe down his genitals. I’m predicting either years of therapy or a future love of bondage. Win-win.
Posted on: Sun, 19 Oct 2014 01:00:01 +0000
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