Backbiting Another sin of speech is backbiting, which denies or disparages ones good points. It speaks ill of another person when he or she is not present in order to blacken his good name.[1] Whereas detraction openly seeks to dishonor someone, backbiting aims at depreciating ones reputation and it seeks to do so secretly. This can be done by speaking falsely about someone, presenting his faults as greater than they really are, or ascribing a bad intention to his good deed. We can fall into backbiting also by deliberately concealing or diminishing someone elses good qualities. We may not directly criticize a particular person whom we do not like, but we never mention that persons praiseworthy accomplishments or virtues to others because we do not want their reputation to be enhanced. According to Aquinas, backbiting is a mortal sin more serious than theft. He quotes Proverbs 22:1: A good name is to be chosen rather than riches. To take away someones good name is a graver offense than to take away that persons property. This is why we must resist when others start backbiting in our presence. We should want to protect the trashing of our neighbors reputation just as we would want to protect their home from being robbed. Some of the great saints of our modern era had parents who were excellent role models in courageously resisting sinful speech. St. Thérèse of Lisieuxs father, for example, would never allow his friends to gossip or speak uncharitably about others in his presence. Similarly, Mother Teresas own mother, Drana, trained her children never to speak negatively of others. When the children once were complaining about their teacher, she turned off the main switch in their home and told the children she would not waste electricity on their sinful speech. The kids had to walk around and do their chores in the dark for more than an hour that evening. On another occasion, when a customer for her daughters dressmaking business told an uncomplimentary story about someone while waiting in her home, Drana pointed to a sign that announced speaking against others was not welcome in their home. Infuriated, the woman stormed out of the house and the family lost her business. Drana was unmoved, however, and told the children: We can do without money, but we cannot do with sin. When our conversation is charitable and focuses on what is true, good, and beautiful, it edifies others and builds deeper communion among people. That kind of resistance to backbiting St. Thomas Aquinas would praise. He taught that if a person does not resist backbiting, he seems to consent to it and shares in that persons sin. Aquinas also notes that a person might sin even more than the backbiter himself if he induces the man to backbite (So tell me more about that . . .) or if he enjoys hearing the critique on account of his hatred for the person being detracted. Finally, one even more sinful use of speech is tale-bearing. Similar to backbiting, it seeks to disparage someones good name and seeks to do it in secret. But tale-bearing is worse because it does so with the specific intention to divide friendships. The Book of Sirach refers to this kind of sin when it states, Curse the whisperer and deceiver, for he has destroyed many who were at peace (Sir. 28:13). According to Aquinas, tale-bearing is worse than detraction in general or backbiting, because friendship is an even greater good than ones honor or good name. Though gossip, detraction, backbiting, and tale-bearing can cause injury to others good name and divide people from each other, God intended that we use our speech for good. When our conversation is charitable and focuses on what is true, good, and beautiful, it edifies others and builds deeper communion among people. The following exhortation of St. Paul to the Philippians is also quite applicable to the way we should approach our conversations: Whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (Phil. 4:8).
Posted on: Sun, 05 Oct 2014 12:06:52 +0000
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