Been abused in a relationship? A relationship with a narcissist isn’t normal. You’ve been lied to so much that you don’t know what the truth is anymore. You have been taught not to trust your own perceptions, and you’ve been led to believe that you are not very important. Healing is long and drawn out because it has to be done on such a deep level. You have to learn to trust yourself again, to see the truth and not be dissuaded from it, and to accept your value. You have to learn to be gentle with yourself. Watching the Narc Get Away with It One of the hardest things of all is watching the narc skip off into the sunset while you struggle to find your footing. It isn’t a lack of forgiveness, it’s a matter of knowing someone committed acts of violence against you and walked away untouched. Narcissists are good at getting away with things. They seem to be able to create chaos and then give the world a charming smile and walk away leaving their victims dazed, wounded, and confused. There are no consequences and therefore it seems as if the world is allowing his behavior. Maybe it even condones it. And that makes you and I feel that we are unimportant. We are not worth being championed and so, obviously the narc was right – we’re worthless. Healing Is a Process I wish I could end this with a simple formula that, when followed, would give instant healing and get rid of the crow’s feet around your eyes in one fell swoop. I can’t. All that I can offer to you is the knowledge that it’s common among everyone who has had a relationship with a narcissist. No one comes away unscathed and no one heals overnight. Rather than looking at how long it is taking you to heal why not look at each small success and celebrate your progress. You aren’t a failure, you aren’t too broken to ever get better. You are healing on your own schedule and that’s OK. Stop beating yourself up over how long it’s taking. You don’t need to step into you narcissistic ex’s shoes and keep the abuse going – become your own advocate.
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:34:07 +0000
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