Been having a few of the scariest days of my life...not ready to get into it quite yet and also not trying to be the person everyone hates that puts something vague on a public forum and then wont talk about it, I just wanted to thank an amazing new new friend who feels more like family, Mika, for helping me create a space to get back to doing what I do best, writing. Im learning that its okay to let yourself go for a bit and stop functioning on a rational, calculated level and just react every now and again when youre presented with terrifying, potentially life-changing news...a phone call that is a complete sucker-punch...the kind that makes you literally lose your breath, wits, and maybe even sanity for a minute or two...whatever the reaction is, its okay...your brain needs it, your spirit needs it, YOU need it. Im done apologizing for offending, done trying to fix mistakes made long ago to people who dont deserve it, done letting people stay in my life who should have been booted long ago...my mom was right, my loyalty has more often than not been to my own detriment. Im here for me now, and the handful of people that really matter. Writing down the moments...all of them, even the old memoirs everyone has tried to convince me to publish will be coming out of the computer and onto paper where they belonged the whole time. Its time for me to re-create the words and see if the story is even still mine. This is probably rambling to most, but those who matter will get it. So now I have a creative space surrounded by things that remind me of the people, places, periods of time, loves, losses, talents, victories, failures, and events that have molded me, changed me, and taught me. The two sides of my psyche...Gemini after all...and if youre lucky, maybe youll get to read the book.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 03:34:32 +0000
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