Been searching my heart for a few days and I have come to the conclusion that true best friendship, I mean a no holes barred, give it your EVERYTHING, is a commitment, a lot like marriage. For better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health. In this lifetime, we are lucky to even have ONE person to call a bestie. Someone who is always there for you no matter what. Who loves you despite. Who lifts you up, makes you laugh, loves you unconditionally. Who would take a bullet for for. I get all that. I thought I had all that. My issue lies in where to draw the line between "I cannot believe you would do that to me ... to us," and "no matter how bad it is, I am still here for you." My head says "you are a fool to walk back into the snake pit ... you were not only thrown under the bus a hundred times behind your back, you were also ran over, pulled out and tossed back under the wheels." My heart says "irregardless, you need to forgive and jump back into that pit and help her." It is what Jesus would do. It is what God would want me to do. And then my head plays over and over and over again the endless scenarios of drama and I feel like a FOOL. It was worst than I ever imagined. Torn. I know everyone kinda looks to me for some inspiration and to see how I will handle life challenges but this time, I need help. On this Sunday, I ask God to show me the way. But for now, I will just pay homage to a song by the Beatles and "Let it be."
Posted on: Sun, 28 Jul 2013 15:46:00 +0000
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