Being Present My profession is an unusual one in that, at the end of the very first or initial session, I inform the person I am treating that if I see them outside, I will ignore them. I will act as if I do not know them. If they wish to say hello to me, thats fine. I do this not only to respect their privacy and confidentiality, but to honour them and the intimate discussion that has just taken place The other part, the more serious part involves listening to secrets. Not just the type of secrets one might keep from ones parents, spouse, best friend or employer. The type of secret that one tries to erase from ones memories. I must allow the person sitting before me to share every detail of the experiences which haunt their lives. I cannot encourage people to reveal their darkest actions, experiences or traits by just asking questions or by any psychological technique. Rather, I must be present. I must honour their existence, their presence, and allow them to feel safe enough to finally speak about that which they have remained silent for years or decades. The weight of carrying secrets is so tremendously destructive because eventually each of believes that we are guilty. Certainly, we may be responsible at some level, but guilt is yet another thing. Guilt and shame implies, not that our actions may have been wrong or bad, but that we are wrong or bad at our essence. The weight of carrying these burdens creates illness and causes us to live in a cave of dark isolation, lest others find out our so-called crime. One of the simple reasons that we carry secrets is that we are unable find the one who will listen to the words of our wounded spirit without judgement or analysis. The greatest gift that each of us can give one another is to truly listen without the urge to chat, immediately share our own similar experience or begin texting or answering our phone. The closest we usually come to the experience of connecting is the generic how are you? The response is always fine. No greater untruth is ever spoken. I do not say lie. Untruth is more accurate.Wine may be fine, but rarely are we humans truly fine. Words have power. They are all that we have. Often silence is more powerful than words, but we must learn to use our words carefully. We must listen after asking about anothers welfare. We must be prepared to be present for others. The briefest of moments spent with a stranger can be life-altering if we are present. Presence implies awareness, attention and not only the offering of respect, but of honour to each individual that we meet. We do not offer our presence and our attention only to our friends and loved ones. We offer it to those who cross our paths on the road, have adjoining cubicles, live on our floor or live on our planet. This is worship. It is true prayer. It sanctifies all that we touch. It is life.
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 11:46:00 +0000
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