Being a good person has nothing to do with allowing other people to destroy you. There are limits on what you should tolerate in an effort to be healthy. We really cannot be of great help to others if we have no self-worth to come from. In giving too much we end up used and abused and so this is the very reason we choose to love ourselves. We are allowed to have limits, should have limits and should see these limits as the marker of having positive self-esteem. We are so afraid to set limits because we are terrified of being alone, of people being mad at us and of them leaving. If saying no causes this reaction in the other person is about who they are, not about the limit you needed to set for yourself. When you set the limit you have done your job. Whatever their reaction is comes from their sense of themselves. Those who can never be wrong do not handle limits well. It is like you took their toy away from them and left the sandbox. Well, if the toy was yours you had the right to take it. If your self-worth is yours and it is being destroyed by someone else you have the right to protect it and take yourself away from them. This is an act of you being a good person to yourself. That is always the place to start.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 12:00:00 +0000
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