*****Being able to finally express gratitude to one who showed you great kindness during a dark time is like putting the finishing stroke on a painting that is finally ready to be hung in a gallery of grace.***** After 7 1/2 years, I finally thanked a man for extending grace during a time when I was in a state of great desperation. It was the summer that my dad was so sick and the pain he was experiencing was so intense and so severe that I thought I might lose my mind. Mom and Dad were living here with us that summer. Week after week after week, I was watching my dads pain worsen. Medicine wasnt touching his pain.....and in order to shield my children and me from the sight of him in pain, he and Mom remained sequestered in the guest room during his worst bouts of pain, where Mom would read, sing, massage his legs and do whatever it took to try and keep his focus off of the pain. My mom was the picture of grace and calmness....and doing my best to follow her lead, the outside world saw the same of me. But I was literally dying on the inside. I felt like my world was falling apart. Its funny how the body responds to stress.... No matter how much you fake it on the outside, your inside knows the truth and will respond accordingly. My hair began falling out and my weight dropped to an unbecoming number. One evening, I walked to the guest room where I pressed my ear to the door hoping to hear silence. Unfortunately, I was horrified to hear my father grunting in pain. At the same time, I could also hear my mom calmly singing a hymn in an attempt to soothe and calm his soul. In a great state of panic, I called Kevin, (who was at the hospital) and cried that I couldnt take it anymore. My dad needed stronger pain medicine and I needed Kevin to make a call to Dr. Brewer (his pain doctor) and tell him we needed something stronger....no matter the cost. Within minutes, I arrived to Brookshires to quickly pick up medicine for my dad. When I walked in, I was stunned and then became frantic when I saw the unusually long line of people waiting to pick up their own medicine. Yall, I wasnt myself that night. I was tired, panicked, exasperated....and, quite frankly, I was angry at the world that my dad had cancer and that that cancer was cruelly attacking the nerves in my fathers body in such a severe way. As I got in the back of the line, I couldnt stop imagining my dad writhing in pain with every passing moment. All of the sudden, something inside of me snapped. In my normal state, I would never even think of cutting in line. I might tap my foot while impatiently waiting......and then smile and say, No worries at all when one of the clerks apologizes for the long wait. ......But on this evening.....this painful, dreadful evening......I walked up to the front of the line apologizing to each person I passed up. I could feel my face get red and flushed, knowing that I was surely getting glares from those behind me. I was desperate. More desperate than I had ever been. The clerk looked at me kind of confused .....and with the commotion I had caused, I caught the attention of the pharmacist on duty. He looked at me with great concern, (as it was obvious I was not in a good place) and quickly made his way to me at the counter. While choking back tears, I frantically said to him, Im so sorry. I normally dont do this, but I am so desperate. Its my dad. He is in terrible pain and its getting worse. Dr. Brewer called in some meds and I need it as soon as possible so I can get it back to my dad. Finally letting the tears fall freely, I whimpered, Please help me? This very compassionate man looked me in the eyes, placed a caring hand on mine and said, Yes. Give me just a minute. We will take care of your daddy right away. I turned to the people in line behind me, once more, and apologized for my behavior. Not one person seemed angry or upset with me. The only thing I received from them were loving and sympathetic nods. The clerk moved me down to another window where I quickly received my dads medicine. I mouthed the words, Thank you to the pharmacist, who was already busy filling other prescriptions and he smiled, nodded and gave me one of those, Your welcome winks. I rushed out to my car. Quickly got in, and cried all the way home. I got home, raced to give Dad his medicine. Then, went right back out to my car, (where no one could hear me), and proceeded to have the biggest temper tantrum towards God you could ever imagine. (Most of you already know this part of my story, so I wont go into it again.) But it was a life-changing night for me. Sadly, Dad passed away late that summer. And I never went to another pharmacy ever again. That night, Brookshires on Bert Kouns became my pharmacy....and Mr. Morgan became my most favorite pharmacist in all the world. I wasnt sure Mr. Morgan remembered me. But then,during the following Christmas. I went to pick up a prescription and inside was a note from Mr. Morgan that read, Merry Christmas, Teri. I still have that note. He remembered me, but thankfully never judged me for my crazy behavior that terrible summer night. Through these years, we have become friends. His wife is a facebook friend and ironically, his nephew, Parker, happened to land on Gators same baseball team years ago. .....and then, Parkers mom became one of my dearest friends. (I realize more and more what a small world it really is.) Many times, I so badly wanted to thank him for the kindness he showed me that July night, but every time I thought I might be able to do it, my throat would lock up. But then, yesterday, I finally did it. Of course, the lump formed and the tears were stinging my eyes, but I was finally able to thank this man who showed me such kindness and compassion when I needed it the most. After I shared my sincere gratitude, he smiled, then walked through the door to give me a hug. Kindness matters. And kindness shown during a time of pain and desperation, not only matters, but it is something that is never forgotten....and something to be treasured forever. Thank you, God, for compassionate, kind and loving souls....Those like my Brookshires pharmacist. For they are the troops You send to us when we need a tangible sense of Your Heavenly presence.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Jan 2015 06:00:47 +0000
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