Best intentions can and will go awry As a single mother I struggled to dot all the is and cross all the ts each and everyday. The list of responsibilities never end and all the well meaning friends and loved ones advice was not going to alter my overloaded state of life and how little the absent parent did to balance things. Disappointed, feeling betrayed by family and friends who openly discuss my failings with one another often in front of me add in the constant negative reports from babysitters, public and Sunday school teachers and it all ate away at my self confidence to the point that I chose to throw in the towel. Friends, There is no secret weapon for single parenting, you just dive in and hold on for dear life and live in hope that your children understand you are doing the best you can with what you have. Onlookers with their passing comments of how that parent can improve the situation...all I can say to the know it alls out there, if you took as much time giving a helping hand instead of a helping word you would lessen the strain on your friends and loved ones who are single parents. Regardless of the gender approach and the belief that women are born to nurture, encourage the best in their children and edify them when they are down...if you are constantly beating that gal up and pointing out her shortcomings, she will fail. Add to her responsibilities of the mans role as provider and protector most likely lacking the ability to be both as well as nurturer surrounded by a bunch of nay sayers and she will fail, not just a little but epic fail. Less talking and more action! Get in there, down and dirty, or swift and sweet find the source of need and establish your part in filling it. Even if it is to purge closets and cabinets donating linens, dishes, flatware, pots and pans. Even if it means giving a few hours of your time babysitting so that the single parent has a few hours of their time to devote to their needs or that of their family. Even if it means simply praying, there is one significant thing you can do which will make all the difference in the world... Stop talking, stop giving life to the negatives...if you feel the need to discuss then talk about the positives. Build that single parent up, point out where they succeed. Allow them that glowing moment when eye to eye they see your pride in them and the efforts they do make. Not even family has the right to know all the details other than the success story and if it isnt a success story then use some discretion and ask for unspoken prayer. All it takes is just one word to start a frenzy and a panic and as a single parent having been the topic of many a discussion I cant attest to how miserable I was knowing people were not only watching my every move but discussing it as if watching a golf tournament or tennis match. If there must be a narrator let it be from your mouth to Gods ear... Today I want to encourage you to be a part of the solution and not a part of the problem. Love the struggling single parent and give them hope with a positive word and an atta boy/girl or two. You never know if it is your word which makes or breaks a person and their situation so please think...before you speak...the tongue truly is a double edged sword giving life or...death
Posted on: Sat, 01 Feb 2014 16:56:46 +0000
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