Big moves were made on cleaning my apartment today. Looking around, it feels gutted, though the process has barely begun. Im seeing wallspace and airspace that I havent seen in decades. Theres some anxiety over the change and that empty feeling and a compulsion to refill the void once goals have been met. It will be difficult for me to learn and accept the space and the emptiness without feeling a sense of loss. It is work that has long been needed to be done and I am only part way along the journey. I hope I have the strength to follow through and I am grateful for the handfull of friends who have helped me with the rehousing of precious objects that hold nostalgic memories. I also appreciate the patience of neighbors who are giving homes to objects I instructed my helper to leave in the stairwell, and hope that it all disappears before I pass through, so as not to drag home anything that I have made peace with releasing.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Sep 2014 04:39:25 +0000
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