Blog 22 - My Dearest Summoner Part One Ace of Broken Hearts I love getting lost in a book. It takes you thousands of miles away from your own problems and puts you into the hearts and minds of someone else for awhile, completely blocking out anything you would have thought or felt for yourself. Which was exactly what I was trying to do. With everything that had been happening lately, it was just the kind of break I needed. I would have stayed there, but my vision was becoming fuzzy. I pinched the bridge of my nose and blinked a few times, bringing myself back to reality. I was leaning against the wall on my bed, in my room once more. Id been trying to put off sleep as long as possible. It would give my nightmares less time to torture me, and the less I saw of that creature, the better. I rose from my bed and headed for the kitchen. Hopefully some tea could keep me up just a little bit longer... I wasnt ready yet. But when are you ever really ready to face something like that? My nightmares felt like theyd gotten progressively worse since the creature was here. Like it was trying to get revenge for being sent away after getting so close to me in real life, so close to ending me. But it now had more ammunition to throw at me... since... I walk over to the kettle, turned it on, and set up a mug. I leaned up against the counter to wait. The creature had made it its mission to remind me of how lonesome I felt. In the Enchanted Forest, and here. Torturing me with words and glimpses of moments of my life where those feelings were unbearable. Since my mother died, it had loved to shove it in my face almost every night that I would suffer great loneliness for eternity, that the only person who had ever cared for me was now dead and buried leaving me completely, and utterly, alone. And after everything that happened in Moonlit Cray, it had only gotten worse. I had ventured there in hopes of speaking with Luquier, to discuss everything that had happened while she had disappeared, and there had been a lot, but when I walked in... Seeing Dr. Mare embracing Luquier, kissing her... I dont know why it shocked me so much, but I knew why it upset me. All it did was fuel the anger Id had over the attack on Blaise at my house. Blaise and myself. I dont know which event was the real reason for my yelling at him, but I let him have it worse than I ever expected to. I had felt so betrayed... trust over the nightmare sideshow in my home... and my heart...which had foolishly thought for even a moment that the kiss wed shared, meant something more than just a meal to him... Just forget him Maddie.... itll hurt less.... I muttered to myself. But, of course, I couldnt. That had been a problem ever since before the curse broke...starting from the day I had helped him... he wasnt just going to vanish now. As I looked out over my kitchen, my eyes wandered to the island where wed prepared lunch together that one day, and I remembered the card trick he had shown me. Pulling out the card he had impossibly made appear in my pocket. Ive always thought you were my Ace of Hearts. I could hear him say in my mind. I started to smile at the memory but forced it away. F-o-r-g-e-t H-i-m I reminded myself again. When I finally heard the kettle click, I went on making my tea, trying to suppress further damaging thoughts. I turned from the counter toward the hallway, tea in hand. But the quick movement and lack of sleep made my head spin, and I lost my balance. Stumbling forward I lost hold of my drink and was sent helplessly toward the floor.... but something grabbed me. Or, rather, someone.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 21:15:13 +0000