Bone Thugs-n-Harmonys Tha Crossroads is the anthem of my youth. Whenever it plays, it harkens memories of simpler times... when my middle school friends and I would steal flare guns from Wal*Mart, and fire them off in the sewers of Carrollton, TX - all the while smoking Swisher Sweets cigars (also stolen). Today I found out that one of my colleagues had never heard of Bone Thugs-n-Harmony. BULLSHIT, I said. Im going to digress for a moment to tell the story of the first time I touched a ladys bosom. It was a mild day in January of 1998... A Saturday. James Camerons Titanic was still the #1 movie at the box office, and I got invited to see it with a girl from my art class, along with these two other dudes, and a mystery girl who will play a significant role later on in this story. Now, fourteen-year-old children should not be sold tickets to Titanic. Theyre not there to watch a movie... Theyre there because they have nowhere else to be, and it results in THREE HOURS of unsupervised teenage experimentation. So me and the cool-kid crew ditch out of Titanic about 40min into it, and we creep around back to the alley behind the theater. And thats when shit got hormonal. I have to make it very clear that at this point I was in a world of terror, and wanted to fly away to a place where there were zero girls. But, alas, no such luck. After a brief and novice brokerage between us children, the mystery girl and I awkwardly walked around to the other side of the movie theater to commit certain deeds... We were both cowards, so many of the agreed upon terms were not fulfilled. But I did get ahold of that bosom in a very gentlemanly manner, and the walk she and I shared to get back to the back alley was neither awkward nor bittersweet. We all snuck back into the movie just in time to see Leo drown. Thats how I lived as a youth. All set to a wonderful soundtrack, which always included Tha Crossroads by Bone Thugs-n-Harmony. The younger generation needs to know.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 06:55:42 +0000
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