Bossing or Leading? Have you ever found yourself wondering whether your leadership style is too aggressive or too bossy? And when you felt that way, did you take a step back in your tone, messaging and direction? I was leading an advanced leadership course when one of the participants brought up this very interesting aspect of leadership style. She said, “Leslie, I often feel conflicted because of this fine line between leading my team and my not wanting to come across as being too bossy.” She continued by saying, “I know they are looking to me to take charge and direct them on what to do … but I struggle with feeling like I’m being too bossy.” What a courageous declaration! This is exactly the type of awareness we need to define our leadership style. And the solution is more awareness. I think it makes sense that from the day of enrollment, that as a leader you clearly, professionally, and with enthusiasm set the boundaries on how you and your partner will effectively work together. You are the leader and your new partner deserves to be coached, mentored and directed on your terms. You bring high value to the table and play an important role in the development of your new partners. The key from the beginning is to get clear on what they want and then come to an agreement on exactly what it will take to make their dream a reality. Now, getting back to the woman who was concerned about being bossy, I asked her if she had ever been in a corporate environment. Her response was, “My full time job is working with a bunch of men.” So with further conversation, I pointed out that perhaps her mindset about “being bossy” was coming from her corporate work experience, not her Direct Selling experience. Perhaps she was transposing her corporate mindset onto her entrepreneurial mindset. What an ‘Aha’ moment for everyone! So what was a solution? Having awareness and making a shift in attitude. I recommended that moving forward, when she starts to feel ‘bossy’ she can simply say, “Whoops!” and stop herself. She can mentally remind herself that, “Hey, I’m transposing my corporate mentality onto my Direct Selling business, and I’m not going to do that anymore.” She liked that idea! Through experience, we come to understand the difference between being bossy, which the dictionary defines as being fond of giving people orders or asserting one’s will over another in an arrogant way, and being a leader, which is guiding people in the direction of their dreams from a position of experience and support. And if you’ve recruited a new business partner who doesn’t yet understand that difference, don’t take it personally. Maintain your posture, poise and professional non-attachment, because you after all, you do know better, even though it might not feel that way, at least not yet. It didn’t feel that way yet for the woman in the class, so I recommended that she do a little journaling and identify some of her really terrific leadership qualities. Was she a good listener? Did she give simple and clear direction? Was she detailed oriented? Did she set a good example through her consistent actions? Did she focus on expanding their dreams? Once she started to shift her perception from “I’m being bossy” to simply “I’m being the best leader I can be,” the issue faded in importance. It went from a limiting belief to an empowering belief. As long as you remain focused on your business partner’s ‘Why,’ and create clarity on what it takes for them to meet their ‘Why,’ and do your best to drive them in that direction, that’s not being bossy … that’s showing your true leadership style.
Posted on: Tue, 05 Aug 2014 18:34:32 +0000
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