Bought me to Tears- After carrying the last load of 7 of our Costco purchases up the few flights of stairs, and through the 6 doors it requires, I finally broke. Hands numb, back and arms shaking, I decided to weigh the box. I thought so. It would seem that tears would be brought on by the sheer exhaustion of the last week, both emotionally and physically, but its not. With each step, I felt the strength in: my hips, my glutes, my calves, my low back, my arms, my core, my jaw, my grit, my faith, and most importantly my dependent and fluid relationship with the Almighty God, my Lord, Jesus. Every step I thanked him for the place my daughters and I have called home the last 4 years. It has been such a blessing, but because of all the hellish storms and battles, I stopped appreciating the good about it. Last month, I learned the owner wanted to sale and have us 2 months to get out. Normally, it wouldnt faze me. However, after my accident, a job lay off, and Unemployment still to this day in a loop...I finally reached my wall. Most of you guys here in my FB world are from elementary, high school, church, work...you know my message - Dont give up!!! So, I thought about worst case scenarios for a bit. Didnt scare me. Started condo, apt hunting and seriously had a wake up call. San Diego is expensive! Everywhere my daughters and I looked, it would be paying more than double, half the size, and a compromising area. My head and heart began to sink. I have worked so hard all my life. I couldnt stand the thought of this disrupting my childrens school year, their stability, the hardship it was presenting. Yes, it is a fact that God will not put more on us than we can bare. So, Tuesaday, I pressed my back against the wall, and seriously told God, Ive had enough!! Again, knowing me, you know the flames Ive walked through. I am no stranger to hardship, pain, heartache and even trial & pruning as a child of God, working towards a purpose and goal to bring Him glory. I was done, and I sincerely believe that God told the enemy that was enough! Tuesday, after the contents of closets had already been pulled out throughout our condo, and half heartedly boxed, I felt compelled to reach out one more time to the owner& management co. Let me tell you, never doubt that God is your friend and will not let you give up!! He moved on the hearts of these men and my world. He calmed the storm because he loves me. I was brought to tears of gratitude, and thankfulness for every heavy Costco load tonight, every step of the way. My friends, sometimes the path is tough, and the fight is hard, but remember you have a God, a friend, a savior who loves you more than you can fathom. You never have to give up or quit. Its okay to ask Him for help even if you dont know him well or how to approach Him. Hes there for regardless of how you feel about Him. Im thankful tonight for being able to share my hurt, my heart, my fears, and my love openly. I truly traded my beauty for ashes long, long ago. Looking forward to the day to being dusted off. Thank you Costco. Thank you Lord. Thank you friends & family. I love you. ❌⭕️❌⭕️
Posted on: Fri, 04 Apr 2014 03:41:52 +0000
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