Brace yourselves, this status going to be a LONG, and opinionated review on the Star Wars Ep. 1 (and the prequels I guess). So if you dont want to read it, you have been warned. Now, down to brass tacks. Everyone knows that I dont really like the Star Wars prequels very much. And this is coming from someone who DIDNT grow up with the origInals. I mean, as far as my memory recalls, my kid version of me only watched Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace for the Pod-race. Heck, that sequence even inspired me to buy the Pod-racing computer game (which is a lot of fun, even to this day). I was a child. I didnt know any better. And yet, I still didnt like the movie as a whole back then. How ironic. Anyway, my reasons why it is a terrible movie are stated below. 1) Theres just another light-saber duel. Weve seen so many of them by now, even in this standalone film, who cares? The fight from Episode I was actually more engaging, because it was different: three guys, Mauls double-saber. 2) We know the outcome. As I saw The Original Trilogy beforehand (and suggest everyone see it first) we already know Anakin loses and becomes Darth Vader. So theres no tension. When we first saw the fight in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, we didnt know what was gonna happen. We didnt know (SPOILER alert) Luke would get his butt kicked, lose his hand and Darth Vader would reveal his true identity. There was tension. Now I do realize some younger generations might see this before the original trilogy, but it still lacks the tension and unexpected nature of the fights from the original series. 3) Lack of humanity. The fights are less about the fight itself but more about the internalization of the characters. In fights from the original films, theres emotion, and dialog/body language between the characters attempting to resolve/end the conflict at hand. While the fight in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith is set up to be a tragic duel between two former friends, the actors dont convey that. The closest moment comes when Obi-Wan says I have failed you. There should have been more moments like that (though Hayden Christensens acting wouldnt have helped much). The fight from the original STAR WARS better conveys the broken relationship between the two former friends. 4) ITS TOO LONG!!! Seriously, The fight with Darth Maul goes on forever. It starts off well enough, but it quickly turns into an elaborate excuse to show off the overproduced CGI environment and overused choreography. Theres a moment where their just swinging their lightsabers around and not even touching each other. Whats the point? It goes on so long and becomes so over-the-top that it becomes boring, and yet cheesy at the same time. They are literally just swinging glow sticks at each other for no reason. Not to mention that theres 2 OTHER battles going on that they keep cutting to. Its so convoluted. The movie is poorly paced because of that. Part of what I love about the fight in EMPIRE is the subtlety. The moments when Luke is just staring at his opponent motionless, trying to control his fear in that dark steam-filled room dripping with atmosphere. That creates a lot of tension. And because these movies were made years after the original films, even more tension is lost. We all know Obi-Wan will get out of his predicament at the end because his character is in original trilogy -_- 5) Speaking of long movies...this is one is them. The subject matter of this film is SO unfitting for Star Wars, its not even funny. Believe it or not, the plot of the movie is.....well, its so poorly written and convoluted, that Im not really sure what the movie is about to this very day. But it has something to do with the taxation of trade routes...I think? Lets just say that Politics and Star wars, do NOT mix. Whoever came up with this idea is an idiot. Im guessing it was George. And if Im right, why didnt anyone challenge him for Petes sake? Regardless, its VERY boring due to its political heavy plot-line. Not to mention that the exposition is OVERKILL throughout the entire movie. Its so dialogue heavy. And every scene with talking in it has something to do with politics. I kid you not, they even discuss it in a 15 minute dinner scene. 15 WHOPPING minutes! Like, seriously, what was George Lucas thinking? The least he could of done was cut that down a bit. I found myself fast-forwarding a lot. 6) Poorly written, and acted out dialogue. And maybe...just maybe the dialogue would of been bearable if the acting wasnt so monotone. If you were to describe the characters in this movie without saying what they looked like, what they were wearing, or what there role in the movie was, you wouldnt be able to. In fact, lets do a test. Ill compare some of these characters from the original trilogy. HAN SOLO: Hes a rogue. He only thinks of himself, and has no friends because of that. But deep deep down in his soul...he has heart of gold. QUI-GON JIN: ........................................... does stern count as a personality trait? LUKE SKYWALKER: Hes an innocent boy who just wants to make a difference in the universe. Hes looking for a purpose. He wants to have a bigger impact on everyone because he has a kind and gentle soul. He will do anything to accomplish his life goals, even if he risks his life doing so. QUEEN AMIDALA: .......................Shes monotone I guess? So there you have it. My review of the Star Wars prequels that Ive been working on ALL afternoon. If you read up to this point, you have my thanks. I worked really hard to write this, and I appreciate you for taking a half an hour out of your day to read it. Im glad to know people actually read my reviews. So, thank you :)
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 21:03:56 +0000