Brayden is still not feel great. So I was thinking of fun things we can do to help him still feel good...so Tonight we started to make a trap so we can try to catch a leprechaun sunday night he has a great idea on how to catch him..tomorrow we will finish the trap...Brayden really wants to know where his pot of gold is..and the only way we will know is if we can catch him... but Brayden is struggling with energy he worked on it for about 15 minutes with mommy and was ready to lay down. I have days Im strong and days Im weak and want to just cry. I am extremely thankful for Brayden still being alive, 6 years he has be fighting this ugly illness its part of our life and we have accepted it...but I still have days where I just want to ask Why Brayden?? Why children??? Why do we see them hurt so bad?? Why isnt there a cure yet?? Why isnt there a heart that we dont have to worry about antibodies, rejection?? I can honestly go on and on why the whys. . The last few days I have learned of a few more heart babies that have earned there angle wings and it kills me..its not fair. Children shouldnt die. Brayden has been through more in his 6 years than I have in my 35 years.... he has no idea how strong and amazing he is. I pray that he will grow up to be able to read all of these posts....someday when he understands we can cry together and mommy and daddy can share how scared we really were to lose him.. Tonight he asked me again mommy what are you scared of? All I want to say is losing you. Because honestly thats all Im scared of.... But I wont....I always say something silly like krickets...krickets are a huge fear of mine and he thinks its so funny...he just laughs and laughs at me saying really mommy krickets? ?? Krickets...but they are so little. Then I smile and feel so thankful that I had tonight with him. It makes me forget about reality of what is going on in his little body.
Posted on: Sun, 16 Mar 2014 03:50:50 +0000
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