Breaking up with a narcissist is not like breaking up with a normal person. One of the many reasons is the lack of closure. The relationship has been so bad, but once you get out of it, it gets worse, not better. Thats because once you leave a relationship with a narcissist, everything they did will start to hit you. You will no longer subconsciously feel a need to deny whats really been going on like you did during the relationship. Theres no reason to keep the peace or deny the truth or buy their excuses or believe their lies anymore, so it will all hit you head on like a Mack truck. You wont believe that they put you through what they did. Youll feel like if you point it out they will have to acknowledge everything they did, and more important, all of the psychological damage they have done to you, and at least that will allow you to more easily forgive and move on. They wont. They doesnt care, either. You will get no closure from them. You will get no sincere apology in which they truly acknowledge what they have done to you because they will never make an effort to understand what they have really done. You want so badly for them to understand the depths of the damage they have done to your psyche. But stop and ask yourself why. Is it worth it? Was he/she worth your time in the first place? How much of your life have you already wasted on them? Dont you want to start taking your life back and stop putting your well-being in their hands? If you want to save yourself from added pain and extra damage to your sense of self-worth, give up on that now and start forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself for having not paid attention to the red flags. Forgive yourself for having let yourself be treated poorly. Forgive yourself for having compromised who you are. Forgive yourself for not having taken good care of yourself. Forgive yourself for not having left sooner. Forgive yourself for believing that they could repair the damage they have done to your self-esteem. And promise yourself that you wont hurt yourself anymore.
Posted on: Mon, 06 Oct 2014 19:24:00 +0000
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