Breast Implant Shortage Rocks Venezuelan Economy (Thought thatd get your attention) Chronic shortages have become a way of life in the Venezuelan society. But the shortage of approved breast implants have really hit this Socialistic Utopia below the belt. (above the belt, if the procedure is done correctly). Venezuela has the highest per capita breast augmentation rate in the galaxy. It is quite common for young girls to get breast implants for their 15th birthday. Even young girls who live in slums are driven to get enlarged breasteses. Its a status symbol, a right of passage, and an absolute must if you want to attract a suitable drug cartel kingpin. Venezuela used to have easy access to USDA approved breast implants; but due to restrictive currency controls, the supply of approved implants have all but dried up. (pun intended). This has forced Venezuelan women to accept lower quality laugh bags from other less desirable vendors....like China. Chinese breast implants are less desirable due to the lack of quality control; and the Chinese tend to put their own slant (pun intended) on the manufacturing process. The process usually consists of cutting the fingers off those bulk packaged rubber gloves you can get at Costco, tying little knots where the fingers used to be; then filling em up with whatever they have handy. Sometimes they dont even cut the fingers off; the up-side of this process is that the end-user gets larger breasts that already appear to being grabbed at. Until recently, Venezuelan women could obtain approved breast implants by raffles held by pharmacies, workplaces, and yes you guessed it.....even politicians. Public demonstrations earlier this year were punctuated by placards denouncing, food shortages, currency devaluation and the high cost of breast implants. (Lenin would be proud). They also were punctuated by the chant No tetas. No paz (No Boobs, No Peace........sounds reasonable) Many plastic surgeons in Venezuela have seen a drastic downturn in income, and many have gotten their nose outa-joint because of the situation. Where they used to preform two or three of these procedures a week, they are now only seeing two a month. They spend the idle time putting each others noses back in-joint.......cause they can. The only reason I bring up this medical emergency is that it should give us all hope. If nothing else can be learned from this humanitarian crisis at least we, as Americans, can live secure in the fact that WE make the best Fun Bags in this part of the solar system!. And since we make very little else anymore.........I think thats something to crow about. If you want a car, radio, tv, pop-tarts, troll doll, kitchen appliance, hot water heater, or even LED Christmas lights, you have to get them from the Chinese, Indonesians, Malaysians, Dominican Republicans, or even the Bangladeshi-ans (not to be confused with the Kardashians, who have plenty of breast implants....but rarely share them). But if your tired of those little tiny things God gave ya......and you want to trade-up to some Double GG Mega-Melons.........you have to talk to us..........The good old U.S.A.!! So.......get perky.......buy American We are the worlds Hooter Superpower!..............STILL!
Posted on: Mon, 15 Sep 2014 19:08:53 +0000
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