Brilliant, Just Brilliant ..... Douglas Adams in The Restaurant at the End of the Universe described a rocket filled with people who’d been told they had to go ahead and colonise a new planet: ... “I mean, I couldn’t help noticing,” said Ford, also taking a sip, “the bodies. In the hold.” “Bodies?” said the Captain in surprise… “Oh they’re not dead,” he said, “Good Lord no, no they’re frozen. They’re going to be revived.” Ford did something he very rarely did. He blinked. Arthur seemed to come out of a trance. “You mean you’ve got a hold full of frozen hairdressers?” he said. “Oh yes,” said the Captain, “Millions of them. Hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives, management consultants, you name them. We’re going to colonize another planet… “Well what happened you see was,” said the Captain, “our planet, the world from which we have come, was, so to speak, doomed… Yes, ... the idea was that into the first ship, the ‘A’ ship, would go all the brilliant leaders, the scientists, the great artists, you know, all the achievers; and into the third, or ‘C’ ship, would go all the people who did the actual work, who made things and did things, and then into the `B’ ship - that’s us - would go everyone else, the middlemen you see… And we were sent off first,” he concluded, and hummed a little bathing tune… “Er ...” said Arthur after a moment, “what exactly was it that was wrong with your planet then?” “Oh, it was doomed, as I said,” said the Captain, “Apparently it was going to crash into the sun or something. Or maybe it was that the moon was going to crash into us. Something of the kind. Absolutely terrifying prospect whatever it was.… “And they made sure they sent you lot off first did they?” inquired Arthur. “Oh yes,” said the Captain, “well everyone said, very nicely I thought, that it was very important for morale to feel that they would be arriving on a planet where they could be sure of a good haircut and where the phones were clean.” “Oh yes,” agreed Ford, “I can see that would be very important. And the other ships, er ... they followed on after you did they?” For a moment the Captain did not answer. He twisted round in his bath and gazed backwards over the huge bulk of the ship towards the bright galactic centre. He squinted into the inconceivable distance. “Ah. Well it’s funny you should say that,” he said and allowed himself a slight frown at Ford Prefect, “because curiously enough we haven’t heard a peep out of them since we left five years ago ... but they must be behind us somewhere.” The queue is now ready to send off another B ship. This time it’s the people behind the great yammering. So many spenders, so few earners - and global warming to give a spiritual dimension to their great meeting.
Posted on: Fri, 08 Nov 2013 22:19:40 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015