Bullying Story Part 7: "That was the year things started to spiral downward. That was the beginning of my depression. I became highly suicidal. I wanted to die. This girl and Mrs. No name had driven me to the point where I wanted to die. I started to go insane, my thoughts not even making sense to myself. I started spending my free time thinking of ways to die. The only way I could fall asleep, was thinking the thought that I might not wake up. But I did. That’s the thing I don’t think many people understand. Victims are strong. They wake up every day and go to school, knowing a Scarlet is waiting for them. That’s real courage. Over the summer, I found the safe haven of writing. I had always loved writing, but I didn’t know how helpful it would be. In my own world, no one could hurt me. To my surprise, bullying actually helped me. I knew what a real monster was like and I put a bit of Scarlet in each one that I wrote about. This was also when I discovered the amazing bullying organization, Rachel’s Challenge. The story of the kind young Columbine victim inspired me to be a better person, leading me to an attempt to make sure something like I went through wouldn’t happen to anyone else. Although these things helped, my heart remained shattered. Let’s fast forward to high school. It was the time of short skirts, eyeliner, and wearing anything to get noticed. I entered ninth grade a mess. Here I was, partially insane and miserable. My depression grew worse and not even writing could help for a while. I just thought I couldn’t live anymore. The only good thing about high school was that Scarlet wasn’t there. However, although the bullying had stopped, I could still remember everything. I still believed all of the things she said and I wasn’t sure that the scars would ever fade. This is when an eating disorder began to come on. Luckily, one of my actual friends stopped me before I got too bad. I don’t know why I did it, I guess I just wanted one part of myself to be perfect. It got to the point where I was never proud of myself, no matter what I did. Here comes the happy part for those of you who haven’t given up on me yet! A few months later, I entered an Admin Contest on two Facebook pages and won both. The other admins were kind and understood me. It was actually where I found my best friend. I know it might sound lame, but those pages saved my life. When the fans made me post pictures of myself and make an admin video, they told me I was beautiful and funny. Bit by bit, they added the confidence that Scarlet had unrightfully stolen. As if by magic, I was reborn from the ashes. Although my heart’s still broken. I’ve moved on from duct tape to needle and thread. Now, I’m part of the *admins unite* group and I’m so thankful for all of them. They really do make my day. I’m going to thank a few admins now, but I might accidentally leave a few out, so don’t hate me: Annabeth Mockingjay Weasley, Madgy, Pumpkin Pasty, Noctua, Butt Trumpet, DoctorSidekick, Poison Ivy the Chosen One, Mrs Malfoy Mellark, Mrs. Grint, The Last Marauder, XeNoPhIlIuS, Admin Granger Danger, Cedric the Divergent Hufflepuff, Miss Draco Le Bouncing Girly Ferret, Ivo the Multifandom Geek, Kasia, HungAriaNhorNtAil, Claratheanteater, Admin Snitch, Factionless. Loony, Dumbles, Lady Artemis, Lily Snape, and so many more! Thank you all of you admins out there! Anyway, I’m not done talking yet! (All of you groan here) I’ve never understood it. What’s the point of mean comments? What’s the point of “your skin is too bumpy” and “your ears stick out too much”? What’s accomplished? Does the bully feel better about themselves, because that just sounds like your faking yourself to me. My advice to victims is trust me, it does get better. In the meantime, find someone you can trust to talk to; try finding a way to express your feelings, like in a journal; stand up to bullies without becoming a bully yourself; remember that you are so much stronger than they think you are; and you do have a voice. My advice to bullies is stop; realize what you’re doing; express your feelings in another way; if you can’t stop, seek help, it doesn’t make you week; and once it’s all over, forgive yourself. Try reaching out to those you once hurt, that’s what I did. My advice to bystanders is stand up to the bully, you’ll make a difference in both the bully and the victim’s lives; seek help; and try to be friendly to the victim. Lastly, my advice to everyone is be kind to one another and don’t judge people. How are you supposed to make judgments about someone by what they wear, without hearing their story? Like Rachel Joy Scott, the reason Rachel’s Challenge was once started, once said, “I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same.” Let’s fast forward to the future. It’s our time. This is my story. If you read through all of it, I applaud you."
Posted on: Tue, 11 Jun 2013 21:08:03 +0000
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