But...because I cant leave those in agony in agony..... DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA Ollie, the vengeful, FLIES across the yard (all four feet) and LEAPS at the tall, dark figure, snapping his shark, gleaming canines…and promptly……. Sargent Dokes: Hey, Paul, you got a …DOG? Hanging from your knee. Officer Paul: Well, from my pants, really. This is Ollie. S.Dokes: OLLIE? What’s wrong with that dog? Where are its legs? Officer Paul: He has legs! He’s a corgi! S. Dokes: He’s a mad corgi! Should I call for a wagon? Officer Paul: No, no. Let’s see what’s got in his craw. Officer Paul lifts Ollie, still attached to the knee of his pants…. Officer Paul: Ollie! What’s the matter, man? Ollie: BARK! BARK! BBBAAARRRKKKK! RAWR! S. Dokes: I think he has rabies. I’m calling the wagon. Officer Paul: Calm down, man! He thinks his pal Looney is hurt. Ollie: HE IS HURT! YOU …YOU…SHOT HIM! YOU HAVE A GUN! HE’S…HE’S…. Ollie promptly clasp down on the sleeve of Officer Paul’s shirt. Officer Paul: Calm down, Ollie! Looney is fine! Ollie: YOU SHOT HIM! Officer Paul: OF COURSE I SHOT HIM! TO get you down! Ollie: YOU…YOU….KILLED HIM! Officer Paul: Not with marshmallows, I didn’t. Ollie: YOU SHOTED HIM AN HE FELL AND HE….marshmallows? Officer Paul swings his rifle from his back…his special “made for the moment he always KNEW would come, when he would have to stop that crazy balloon dog from doing something that could get someone hurt,” and shows Ollie the “special” ammunition of … bite size marshmallows. Officer Paul: SEE? They could, when fired with enough force, drop Looney, but they won’t hurt him! I just knocked the gas out of him! He’ll have gas again and be the world’s most dangerous balloon dog in NO TIME. Ollie: Looney is OK? Officer Paul: Looney is OK! Ollie swivels his head to look at the still motionless Looney. Ollie: He looks kinda dead. Officer Paul: Well, if you think about it, when Looney is not farting or moving, he always looks a bit lifeless. Ollie: (Ponders this thought) Yea. You are right, he kinda does. Then, as if a miracle has occurred, from the four yards away, comes an extremely soft… Looney: poot. Officer Paul: See? He’s on the mend already! Let’s take him home and get him some beans. He’ll be back to normal in no time flat! Ollie: OK! Officer Paul: I’ll get Looney and take you home in my squad car. I think there is a lunatic out hurting animals. Sounded like someone was strangling cats a while ago. Ollie: Oh, that’s just Dr. Hackenabush. He’s been taking violin lessons and was playing for my date. Officer Paul: You had a date? I thought you were dating Fushchia – and does SHE know you have a date? I might need to take to somewhere safe tonight. Ollie: Nah. I’m good. Let’s get Looney and go home! Officer Paul: Sounds like a plan! S. Dokes: You just spent five minutes BARKING to a dog, that barked back. I think YOU might have rabies. Officer Paul: Ignore him, Ollie. He’s a non-believer.
Posted on: Thu, 05 Jun 2014 02:17:26 +0000