But she married him STOP IT! The question that is always asked..... Why does she stay! Shouldnt the real question be Why does he batter? Why does he get away with this? Why Does She Stay? I ill try to answer this for you, but for someone who has never been abused, it is hard to understand why a woman would accept to live with domestic violence. The dynamics of a woman being abused by her intimate partner are extremely complicated. Why does she stay? Both Love and fear As completely different the meaning of theses two words are They are a in directly connected to why she stays. She loves him. She entered a relationship expecting love, she falls in love and wants to be loved. Many victims remember the person they fell in love with (prior to the abuse beginning) and want to believe the abuse will end. Often, victims don’t want the relationship to end; they only want the abuse to end. 1 in 4.....it could be your sister, your daughter, your mother, your nieghbor, your co worker, It could be you. I am a victim of domestic violence. Battered women are the product of the crime of domestic violence—not the cause. Until the only man I thought i had ever loved enough to marry beat me, I was a person, a woman, who always said id never put up with that Until it happened...... As a result of his crime against me i became a victim now a survivor of a awful crime done to me. being a battered woman is about him, not me. Not her. I fell in love with a man who charmed and impressed and romanced me. I loved him more than any man I had ever dated, and I married him. However, I did not know who he was. Abusers know that if they present their true selves no one would ever talk to them, so they don’t. They act, they con, they deceive—we fall in love. Then, when we start seeing who they really are, we don’t believe it. We want to believe anything but the truth. And the truth is that these men trick and woo us and then commit crimes of violence upon us. We are confused and shocked by what we have seen and experienced. They tell us they don’t know what happened, they lost control, they were drunk, we made them do it. We want to believe anything other than that they meant to do this terrible thing to us. It is not in our capacity to understand their acts of violence against us. As long as we believe that we have the power to get the man with whom we fell in love back, as long as we believe that this is caused by something we can fix, as long as we believe anything but the truth, we will stay. When we start to give up hope on the relationship, the man we fell in love with comes back. We are constantly off balance because he keeps changing from the man we fell in love with to monster boy. When do we leave? When things are wonderful and the man we fell in love with is loving us? NO, life is too wonderful and everything is fixed and right with the world. When we are battered? No, we don’t have the strength and we are paralyzed by fear. WHere will I go Will I be homeless The kids Will he find me I cant tell anyone, Everyone will judge me Will anyone believe me! abuser may be a community leader, a religious leader, a high-ranking law enforcement officer, a doctor, a well-known politician. Often, abusers are charming, witty people that most people think are “great people.” Mine was a respected football player on the football field who coached our son and the boys in ur community. He gave his time to them and everyone respected him. Whos going to believe you. Erin? Statistically victims are in highest danger when they leave. And if she wins in court, all she does is buy some time. This is where the importance of a shelter like life line come in. This is why it is so desperately needed. Everyone living with this fear needs to know there is a place to go where he cant get her. She can leave and be safe, she can leave and talk to someone who wont judge her, who knows how abusers work, who will listen to her after she has lived a life of hiding. A place that will protect her and hold her up at the most dangerous and courageous time of her life. I left, I won. It took fleeing the state with a suitcase for my 3 kids and I and leaving my life behind. But did I really my life behind?? because it wasnt until I did that, that I truly began living again! DV does not discriminate. It crosses all borders I want to put a face to it. It s not just the ladies with no self confidence or self esteem. It can happen to anyone and it is. I was a victim and went to survivor. I stayed for about two handful of beatings. I would never again because I know the sick cycle . we as citizens we must support this and speak out against violence against woman. Be a voice for a woman who is too fearfull right now to be her own! And stop asking why does she and start asking why does he batter? #rayrice #domesticviolence #nfl
Posted on: Mon, 08 Sep 2014 21:32:58 +0000
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