By February we knew we were going to stay a couple. I was secure in his intentions and we started talking wedding. I teased him and told him that I wanted the biggest celebration our town had ever seen and he told me I’d be satisfied wearing the paper band off of a cigar on my finger. We talked about what we’d serve at the dinner, our attendants, (of course he listed the two men he’d had a prayer meeting with for 4 decades as first on the list), and colors. Stuff kids would talk about. I talked to people who knew how to cook and to people who knew how to decorate and fantasized about the guest list and the music.We laughed about being so old, he teased me about being so much younger than him, and he actually asked me what I wanted for an engagement ring, not easy for Mr. Independent to do. I wanted an emerald and for Valentine’s day he wrapped it up, fixed a candlelight dinner, and put the box in the middle of my plate. Again, we had some talking to do. I told him that I felt we needed to exchange families and see what happened. He called his daughters to arrange a meeting. My daughter was away at school and wouldn’t be home until summer, so she would be a delay, but I had told her about Honey and she was supportive. We had a lot of blending to get done. He set a date for me to have a meeting with his girls. We met at Company’s Coming, their husbands went to Honey’s house, and I introduced myself. I told them that Honey and I had been dating and that we were in love and wanted to be married. It was interesting, to say the least, but Honey and I decided to give it a little more time and just learn more about each other. His family had a tradition of meeting every three months to celebrate birthdays and events. They came to Honey’s house on the specified Sunday afternoon and ordered pizza and then opened birthday or celebration gifts. Honey loved to see his family gather. It was good when Honey came to my family outings. People swamped him, got him a chair, pulled him into conversations and made sure he had plenty to eat and was a part of the day. He seemed to enjoy the attention and getting to know my people, We accepted him…..Locust accent and all. He was ours. He was Honey and deserved respect and attention and time and most of all, our love We eventually settled into the your family- then my famiy routine that most couples with baggage carry. Young married people must have a lot more stamina than old folks with less energy. But God was so good and we made some really nice memories. The second year we dated was a strain in and of itself and we overcame a lot that would have broken other couples up. In March of 2004 I found out that I needed surgery as soon as possible and went on medical leave. I had two friends in particular who took the time to help me beyond the call of duty. Honey was at the hospital constantly and was such a support. My daughter graduated from college on Mother’s day and the family gathered to celebrate. My father made the trip to Tennessee and the afternoon of the graduation, he collapsed. He got to see her in her graduation gown, told her that he was proud of her and 6 weeks later, after a very brief and trying illness, passed away a year to the day that Anne had died. Honey had taken the week off to mourn for Anne on June 22, but found himself supporting me instead, and in the long run, we supported each other. I finally went back to work and we got back to courting, but it wasn’t the same, it was more stable. Less of the sparkle and more of the foundation. We’d both grown in the relationship and had become comfortable enough for total honesty with each other. It was rough in many ways because he held on to traditions and beliefs that I had no part of and I did the same, but we eventually began to create our own history and routines . Looking back, and that hind-sight is always much more clear than what we perceive in the here and now, I would have done a lot of things differently..but I cannot regret the decision I made to fall in love with this man. In all of the months ahead I found him to be honest, dependable, supportive and transparent in most things. Old people dont try to change each other...they walk into relationships with eyes wide open. I wouldnt take it back for the world. God was answering prayer.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 16:55:35 +0000
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