By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc. Relationships & Break-ups How to get over someone you cant have I was giving a lecture about loves psychologyin one of the education centers in Egypt and when i started talking about getting over someone you cant have one of the attendants raised her hand and asked for the permission to talk. The lady kept saying in a very romantic tone, No this is not love, this cant be, the mind is not responsible for love, this is not love, this is not love The tone was really soft to the extent that i felt that the lady will hug the chair in front of her while talking! Sadly this lady was like millions of other people who have been completely brain washed by the media to the extent that they become completely shocked when they hear someone talking about scientific facts that explains love. The lady was in a state of shock and denial, one part of her wanted to believe what she was hearing and the other part was afraid to do so. If she believed the words she will recover from the breakup but in the same time she will admit that all of her beliefs about love were false!! In this article i will give you more tips that can help you get over someone you cant have in a short period of time. Love is beautiful, i saw it on TV !! So back to the lady who was shocked, The main reason she felt so bad is that she heard me saying that falling in love is a process that is controlled by the mind and that our brains are like giant computers that look for matches based on our past experiences, belief systems, relationship with parents, unmet needs and the way we were raised. (see Love hatred and the mind). So i asked the lady to describe love according to her perspective, she stood and only kept repeating the same statement using the same romantic tone Love is beautiful, Love is beautiful, love is beautiful Sadly the lady was describing exactly what she saw on the Television, what happened in the movie titanic before the ship sank and what she has been hearing since years in romantic songs. (see How romantic music hinders recovery from breakupsand Songs to get over someone). After talking with the lady for few minutes i realized that her beliefs about love mainly were formed and influenced by the media instead of real life experience. You might be wondering what does this has to do with getting over someone you cant have, but when you know that the main reason people dont recover after breakups is because of their false beliefs about love you will stop wondering!! Getting over someone you cant have is all about fixing your beliefs Because you have been brainwashed to believe that love is the solution to all problems you will face a horrible time getting over anyone you cant have. If you really want to get over a person quickly then you should turn off the TV, forget about Titanic and listen to what science has to say about love: Love is the solution to all problems:If you have this belief then you are classified as a love addict who uses love to cope with life problems. This is no different than drug abuse or cocaine addiction. The solution is to fix your life problems and not to find a romantic partner.(see Why do i get addicted to relationships). I loved him so much, i cannot forget him:You can forget anybody in a short while if you convinced your mind that the relationship was over. Nothing can convince your mind that the relationship was really over other than deleting the old memories, getting rid of the gifts, preventing day dreaming and stopping all kinds of bargaining (See how to get over someone quickly) There is only one soul mate:As soon as the computer in your brain finds another match you will fall in love with him. Why do you think people who love each other cheat? simply because there are hundreds of potential partners out there and not just one (see Why do people cheat) I cant tolerate being single:You suffer from serious emotional problems that needs to be dealt with first before you get into a relationship else you will choose the wrong partner just to kill your bad feelings.
Posted on: Sat, 03 Jan 2015 04:53:37 +0000
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